Leo chuckles good-naturedly and replies, “We’ll see. Come on, let me show you the girls’ room.”
We exit the room, continuing down the hallway. Leo stops at the next door. As he opens it, I’m expecting to be hit with an explosion of pink, but that isn’t the case. The room has the same general setup, with bunk beds and a loft, but this room features all white furniture. A mural on the main wall is of a pastel rainbow. The bedding is all different colors of the rainbow. A corner chair includes a canopy, and the shelves are full of dolls, stuffed animals, art materials, and books.
“I would have loved to have this room when I was younger,” I comment. When Violet claps her hands together, I look over to find her gaze latched on a string of pastel pom-poms, hung alongthe edge of the bunk bed. “She’s too young for this room. I forgot her travel crib thing.”
“I got one of those pack-and-play contraptions a couple of years ago. I keep it in the closet of the third room, since that’s where any parent stays anyway. Violet will be contained and comfortable.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. The thought of co-sleeping always freaked me out. It’s probably why I struggled to bond with Violet initially, because she was used to co-sleeping with Ember. Every study I read was vehemently opposed to it, and I was paranoid about all the bad things that could happen. Maybe that’s why she refuses to smile at me. She’s still pissed I essentially sleep-trained her at two months old.
“Leo? Can I have a snack?” Oliver asks, looking up hopefully at Leo.
“The power went out right as I was finishing dinner. He finished his, but I think with all the excitement, his body hasn’t calmed down,” I explain, looking at Violet, who is currently sticking four fingers into her mouth. “She needs something too.”
“Alright. Back to the kitchen, then.” I open my bag to remove my slippers, sighing in bliss as my feet sink into the plushness. I then pad down the hallway, into the kitchen, and find Leo pulling out a box of mac and cheese.
“Since when do you eat mac and cheese?” I ask incredulously. Leo was always acutely aware of healthy foods, how to appropriately fuel his body, and what ingredients were an absolute no-no in his diet.
He gives me a lopsided smile. “I allow more cheat days in my old age now.”
Not able to curb my interest, I open his fridge. Tons of vegetables, many fruits … and then the same coffee creamer I’ve used since high school. Shocked, I grab it, then turn to Leo. “What the heck?”
He stifles a laugh. “That may be the most lasting impact you had on my life. I drink coffee now.”
“You didn’t the last time we were toge—” I stop myself from finishing the sentence. His smile drops as he looks away.
“Yeah, well, lots of things have changed since then.”
I hate that he’s putting the shutters up again, but I know I’m the one to blame for it. I broke both of our hearts, but I know, at the time, I thought it was the best thing for us. What I wouldn’t give to pull him into my arms and soothe his pain away.
Thankful I grabbed some premade jars of baby food as we left the apartment, I pull Violet out of Leo’s arms, and walk to the table beside the kitchen. Maybe I can get her to try seven bites of sweet potato with her evening bottle. Looking down, I notice the table, with an ivy pattern along the edge. “Why is this familiar?”
“It was at my parents’ house,” Leo replies gruffly. My eyes widen as I remember. Stooping down, I look at the base of the table, and sure enough, I find our initials engraved there.
L + E
“Did they ever find out we did that?” I ask.
“They did.”
“God, I would have thought they’d get rid of it then,” I muse.
“I told them not to.”
What? I turn to Leo, watching as he pours the macaroni into the now boiling water. “Why did you tell them not to?”
“Because I wanted the table.”
“Why?”
His eyes find mine, his gaze intense. “Because I’m not done with you yet.”
LEO
I’m not done with her. I’ll never be done with Ella. She’s always been the one, and she’ll always be it for me.
I knew the moment I stepped into her apartment that I was completely screwed.
But I’m fucked up, her life is chaotic, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to trust her with my heart again. Every single time we’ve broken up, it was her call. I’ve never wanted to end things. To start anything with Ella again means I’m opening myself up to the chance of heartbreak yet again, and I’m not sure that I’m strong enough to handle that right now.
