“The contract was to make it easier for you to stay where you had reason to believe you were safe.And you were safe here—are safe here—of course you are.This is your home.Back then, when you were scared, the contract was a set of rules I laid out for you so that you’d have proof I’d follow them.I thought you wouldn’t think much of me if I told you I wanted you here because of you.Telling you I wanted you here for your blood seemed easier, though it was a lie.I never wanted you for your blood.Will you forgive me for that?”
Theo’s tear ducts should’ve been running dry by then, but it turned out he still had more tears to shed.Peter held him in a cage that was no cage.One-sided love that scared Theo, just not enough to make him run.He stayed.
He stayed.
It was one of the scariest things he’d ever done.
Chapter 26
Peterwouldnotbeable to invoice Michael and Corvin for the ruination of another shirt given that this one now had Theodore’s snot and tears all over it.Still, all things considered, the day had gone…okay-ish?
Theodore was incredibly pale and looked entirely bedraggled when he finally agreed to sit down at the kitchen table and have food and hot chocolate.His eyes, red and swollen, kept drifting, and his thick black hair stood up every which way.
If only that vampire were still alive, I’d kill him all over again.
Peter carefully sliced up the tomato for Theodore’s sandwich, doing his best to not bare his teeth at the vegetable that was secretly a berry.Vile, in a way, pretending to be one thing while being another.Like that vampire who’d pretended to be good and been evil.
Peter was hoping for some nice pro bono work to come his way very soon; something like the pup.He had a general sense that he might even seek out a few such pro bono cases.He made a mental note to visit a police station and find some reports about domestic violence or the like that had ended with the police not doing anything.
But that was not the point.The point was getting the tomato sliced and arranged on the rye bread.With absolute focus, Peter managed it, adding cucumber and all the other fixings he knew Theodore liked, then took it over to him with a glass of water and sat in the chair next to his beloved.
“Hmm.I didn’t even ask if you’d prefer the hot chocolate first.”
Theodore shrugged and drank half the water in one go.“Thank you.”
Peter placed a palm on Theodore’s back.“What are you thinking?”
Theodore shrugged again.“Brain’s kind of tired.”
“Understandable.Start on the food, and I’ll get the chocolate melted.Then I’ll take you to bed.”
Theodore shook his head at that, all while pulling a tomato slice from Peter’s precise assemblage.
“I don’t want to sleep.Can we watch something?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t ask me to pick.”
“Not a problem.”
Theodore looked up from the sandwich.His expression was a mess of emotions—anger, annoyance.Fear too.Plenty of fear.Also shame.He said nothing though.
Peter allowed his touch on Theodore’s back to linger.I am to blame for this too.I should have realized he’d need his independence more than what he is entitled to as my beloved.
Yet, the thing about Theodore was that he seemed independent almost by default.He was wild, like fire melting glass into the most stunning shapes, and Peter loved that about him, even loved, to a degree, that the only way to make him not venture into Faerie with him would have been to tie him down.
If I’d paid more attention and thought about how he would feel instead of worrying about the cook, I’d never have had to worry about Carl-Conrad or Carl-Conrad’s couch.The shame is mine.He shouldn’t have had to hurt.
“Don’t hang up on me again, okay?Like that.Like, when I know something isn’t right, but you don’t seem to care.Don’t do that again.”
Peter nodded.“I swear it.”
“Put it in the contract.”
He nodded again.“I will.”
“Now.”
