“So, have the fang-bangers gone?” I ask as I eat another strawberry. Cain’s eyes watch me intently.
“Yes. A few hours ago,” he answers, his eyes watching me chew.
I pause. “Sorry, does this upset you?” I ask, with a mouthful of strawberry.
He shakes his head. “No. Just miss it.”
I swallow the strawberry and wince. “Right,because you can’t eat,” I say, then realise how that sounds.
His lips curve. “Last night certainly appears to have brought you out of your shell a little more.” He takes a sip of his blood, smiling as it stains his white teeth.
I frown. “If there is blood here, then why did Lucian go out hunting?” I ask, realisation dawning.
Cain looks past me. “I’m guessing he needs the hunt. It’s not all about just feeding on blood.”
“Oh. Well, that makes sense. He did become, er, hungry,” I say, heat turning my cheeks pink at the memory.
Cain leans forward. “Did he lose control with you?” he asks, concern etched across his face.
“No.” I shut down immediately. “Not exactly.”
“Evelynn,” Cain presses.
I sigh. “It was nothing. We got carried away in the shower, it got a little wild, and it felt feral. He said he nearly did, but held himself back. So, no harm done. I think he’s overthinking it.”
“He cannot lose control with you. Do you understand me?” Cain says firmly. “He won’t be able to stop. He won’t simply bite you and change you. He will consume all of you. He will kill you,” he warns.
My hunger suddenly disappears. I glance down at the fruit in front of me, then push the bowl away.
“You think he will,” I say quietly, not really asking. I can see it in his eyes.
His jaw ticks, his gaze darkening. “We are bloodthirsty monsters. We value blood over everything else, including your life.”
I swallow. Maybe I am slightly delusional from last night. Maybe I was wrong that I was growing a connection with them. I shake my head.
“No,” I say softly. The word is so faint that even I can barely hear it. “You’re wrong. If you all valued blood over my life, then all of you would have ripped me to shreds by now,” I point out, staring back at him, my voice firm with conviction. “You stood in front of me last night— all of you did—to protect me from Seraphine. You all have more control than you care to admit. I think you use the ‘monster’ term as a defence mechanism. It’s easier to keep people away, stop them getting too close,” I say with certainty.
Cain lifts his chin. “I killed my wife,” he blurts out.
The smug smile instantly falls from my face.
“When I first changed, I woke up on the floor of our small house. She came in with some fresh milk from our cows. Struggling to carry the pail, she shook her head at me, thinking I had got drunk and passed out on the floor. My body shook with hunger, the pure desire for blood. A small part of me looked at her as mywife. I tried to shut it down, to fight it, but it was so painful to constrict my every need. Like I was suffocating, like my insides were tearing me apart.” He pauses, staring down into his mug, swirling the blood around. “The hunger won.” He looks at me, his gaze pinning me in my seat. “The monster won.” He swallows. “I will never forget her screams, her cries, her begging for me to stop,” he says through gritted teeth.
Tears sting my eyes.
“But most of all, the thing that haunts me, that I will never forget or recover from, is the silence that followed. Her blood on my lips, her blood in my mouth. Her lifeless body beneath me. No cries for help, no begging me to stop. Just silence.”
My tears fall silently as I listen to his story, his pain so raw in his voice, the devastating guilt that swarms his eyes as he looks at me.
“I loved her with my entire fucking soul, and I killed her,” he rasps. “No matter what we think we feel when we are satisfied, if that hunger is there, then the monster succeeds.”
I sniff, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. I get up from my seat and wrap my arms around Cain. His entire body stills at my touch.
“None of that was your fault. None,” I tell him softly. “And I believe she knows that.”
He doesn’t hug me back, and that’s okay. He doesn’t exactly give off ‘hugger’ vibes.
I place a soft kiss on his cheek. “You’re a good man, Cain. I believe that with every fibre of my being,” I tell him truthfully as I sit back down.
