I hated this. I hated being unable to focus on my work, and people saw through me. But somehow, Tshabina always pulled me out of control. She drove me into things I couldn’t rein in.
But I knew why, it was because Tshabina had been the path I walked. I had always moved towards her, with her, for her. She was the only thing I remembered, the first thing I searched for when I woke. In the past, all I wanted was to leave my room, see her bright, beautiful face, and spend hours with her.
Bit by bit, she became part of me, as though I could not be complete without her.
Meeting her, being with her, felt like sunlight on the deck, a gentle breeze against my skin. But without her, I felt as if I was drowning, pulled deeper and deeper into the sea’s dark water.
It seemed… my mind registered her as dopamine itself.
If I had a hobby, it would be drawing her and filling her with colour. If I had a favourite thing, it was the way her full cheeks rose when she smiled. If I had joy, it was the loud, bright sound of her laughter.
The second most important woman in my life, after my mum.
But now itwas over.Gone without a trace.
Now she was Tshabina, no longer Sophie.
Now the name I gave her was planted in my brain as if it were a curse.
“Tshabina… why do you always hold this spell over me?” I whispered to the blurred reflection of myself in the window.
My gaze drifted outward into the expanse of this metropolis. It was so different from London, yet nothing special. The only thing that gave this city any meaning wasour memories. Memories before I abandoned it, beforeshebecame my ruin.
Before it all turned to hell.
I shook my head, my fingers clenching hard again.
The look of pain radiated from her eye kept circling in my mind.Wasn’t that pain nothing compared to yours?
Blowing out a harsh breath, I loosened my tie and raked my fingers through my hair. I had to force myself to think of something else. If I couldn’t divert myself, I’d end up screaming, ordering the chauffeur to turn the car around, straight back to her.
And that couldn’t bloody happen.
So, instead, I pulled out my phone and opened the one application that could distract me: the CCTV feed.
Every camera installed in the Danudara residence, all linked here, was at my disposal. One of the conditions I’d set with Zaeem when he forced me to stay. He knew it would ease me, and he’d given me access without hesitation.
Scrolling, I flicked through feed after feed. Living room one: empty. Living room two: empty. Kitchen. Hallways: a few staff. Side garden: empty. Front yard: nothing. Until, far off, there was someone standing and chatting with our guards at the gate post.
My eyes narrowed.
I exited, scrolled to another camera. Guard post. I tapped it, and there he was.Andi? Chatting away with two of our security men. Still in the same clothes I’d seen him earlier at the meeting.
Tapping the speaker icon, I adjusted my AirPods, and their voices rang out. Ridwan, the taller and darker one, was pulling Andi in, offering him some of their food. Andi looked half their size, squeezed between them as they relaxed in the cramped guard room.
Then Ade, lighter-skinned with wavy hair, asked, “Mas Andi, what were you doing trying to pick a fight with Aden the other day? Got a problem with him?”
I frowned.
And then it struck me, so casual, they sounded likefriends. Was Tshabina’s so-called best friend actually close with my bloody guards?
Andi cleared his throat, turned away, sulking. Ridwan pressed again. “But you used to come round here all the time to gossip about Mas Zioh, Mas Zaeem, and the younger one. What changed yesterday? Why the fight?”
Busted.
So, this was what they did. Gathered. Gossipped. That odd little man was blabbing about us to my own guards.
My chest tightened, irritation crawling beneath my skin.
