The moment the door shut, the inside of me burst. I screamed into the emptiness, clawing at my chest as if I could tear the pain away. My voice broke as the tears ran down my face. I curled into myself, sobbing, until my head pounded and my throat burned.
My body was feverish and drained. I passed out in the worst way. Darkness pressed around me when I opened my eyes; the only light came from Andi’s iPad, forgotten near my bed, its screen flickering with a low battery warning.
I remembered he’d brought it in with him earlier, before everything collapsed. That was why he’d come storming in: to show me something.
Reaching for the iPad, I felt my fingers go numb, and my hands began to tremble, and there it was.
A headline.
I rubbed my face, forcing my swollen eyes to focus. My hands shook as I tried to hold the device steady, and when the words became clear, my breath hitched.
“Danudara…”
My eyes widened.
No. No, this couldn’t be…
“What… what is this?” I whispered, horrified.
The next moment, I was on my feet, bolting from the room with the iPad still clutched in my shaking hands.
11
Zioh
Waking up this morning, pain bloomed under my ribs. A familiar tightness seized my throat, choking the air out of me until my eyes shot open, and tension spread from my throat to every corner of my body.
Another nightmare that lodged in my brain.
Since returning here yesterday morning, a knot had tightened in my stomach. A grotesque sensation gnawed away at me, devouring me whole as clarity returned and the weight of my actions settled in. With heat spiked in my blood, I wished I could undo the moment everything went wrong.
Every muscle strained, veins popping on my hands, and my knuckles white as I pressed my palms together with crushing force. It was obvious that this madness would come!
My hand gripped my chest as the suffocation grew unbearable. I shook my head, again and again. The thought echoed in my head: I should never have come back here! Because look! Another mistake happened!
Lifting my face, I met my reflection in the mirror—only for it to shatter as I hurled the shaving foam at the glass.
A few blinks followed as I shook my head and tried to pull myself back into my body. Once dressed, a forced posture was all I could manage, though my head remained heavy as a stone.
My thoughts wouldn’t stop replaying yesterday, and my damn brain mocked me again and again with reminders of how all of this could not ever be mended.
I raised my head to see my fractured reflection again.
Me, my clothes, the wardrobe, trousers, Tshabina—
If you’re tired, it’s okay to rest, Zioh! We’ll begin again togethertomorrow!Pink. 10.
Breathe. One, two, three, four. I let out a long breath and closed my eyes. My jaw tightened, and my grip locked harder.
Disgraceful—how could you do that?Soft, dry, wet,what else… what else…Disgusting. You should’ve listened; you should never have come here. Look at what you did yesterday, you filthy bastard.
“Sir?” A knock came at my door. Natasha’s voice. “Zioh, we need to go.” Her voice came again from outside. It was already midday, and I had somewhere I needed to be, sorting out something that made me sickagain.
After one more exhale, I clenched my fists tight and shook my head.
Calm the fuck down. Press, hold, and breathe.
Stepping out of the walk-in, I grabbed my gear and opened the door. Natasha, bright blonde as ever, stood waiting, her attention fixed carefully on me.
