I closed my eyes, answering her warm, sweet kiss. When our tongues met, I couldn’t stop a small laugh, especially when she moaned as I bit her lower lip hard enough to draw a helpless whimper from her. And then we stayed locked in that sweet kiss until she pushed me, guiding me into my bedroom.
« -- * -- »
Weeks had passed, and Tshabina began staying at this penthouse regularly, so I made sure she had a walk-in closet of her own, filled with clothes and everything she possibly needed. I also kept the fridge stocked with wagyu and spices, because I always cooked for her as I’d promised. But then Ilearned something new: my little Sophie liked wearing these clothes too.
I was a little surprised when Tshabina slipped mini-dresses and short skirts into the wardrobe, but thinking she’d like them, I asked Natasha to buy more. Even though a sense of unease would sometimes rise within me because this way of dressing reminded me of someone.
This evening, I busied myself setting out snacks on the coffee table. Tonight, after more than a month of the same routine, Tshabina and I decided to watch something together.
Tshabina came out of my room shortly after, wearing a sweater and hot pants, and I couldn’t stop the soft smile tugging at my lips. I patted the seat beside me, where I’d carefully arranged pillows on the sofa for her.
She quickly settled next to me, laying her head on my shoulder, and I kissed the crown of her head. My hand gently wrapped her shoulder.
Tshabina grabbed the remote from the table, flipping through films—left, right, up, down. Her brows furrowed in mild annoyance. “Huh… what should we watch?” she muttered with a bit of a pout. Cute. Too damn cute. I couldn’t resist kissing her cheek—
Wait…
My eyes lingered on her face. This soft cheek had been plump. Now… they had thinned so drastically.
I shook my head, stroking her hair. “Alright then, how about Harry Potter?” I offered as I smiled at her. “And this time we’ll make it 2—”
“Harry Potter? No way, it’s boring and unrealistic,” she said with a flat tone. “We should be watching a romance film in times like these, Zioh.”
I fell silent at her words.
Not just that—
My body went rigid all at once. I couldn’t process what washappening—
I slowly loosened my grip on Tshabina’s shoulder and my gaze anchored on the girl beside me as she focused on the TV.
My lungs tightened.
A dark suspicion rose in my broken mind. I went rigid as I stared straight ahead at the woman beside me.
Tshabina loved this film, Harry Potter.
She could narrate every line of it, she knew every character name, even copying their facial expressions and accents. She would never stop, and she wouldn’t refuse an invitation to watch J.K. Rowling’s films. Tshabina would never—
Never.
My stomach churned, cold flared under my skin, creeping in with dizziness and nausea, and those damn voices started singing in my ears again.
We told you, Zioh, you’re too crazy to dream of a normal life… let alone be happy.
Standing up, I tried to keep my voice from shaking. “I-I’m going to the loo for a bit,” I said, hurrying into my bedroom.
I lunged for the nightstand beside my bed, grabbing some pills from there. I opened the lid wide, but as I stared at the pills, panic returned, gripping me. Then I quickly put them back and went to the walk-in closet. I tore open my suitcase and took out the box filled with new pills. I opened them and poured everything into my mouth, forcing myself to swallow them all at once.
A ringing throb in my ears mixed with the cacophony of other noises. I clutched the wardrobe beside me to keep my balance as my body went weak, lifeless. I shut my eyes, trying to find calm, some shred of sanity I couldn’t feel. My breathing grew shallow.
I struck my head again and again.
The one who had arranged those pills was Tshabina.
“Baby… I don’t want to worry or suspect you the way I do with others—but I’m sorry, I need to make sure.”
Then I opened my eyes again, staggering, and returned to the nightstand, pulling out a pen. I pressed its tip into the flesh of my palm as hard as I could.
