“Look at her properly, Zioh.” She lowered her voice. “Remember who she really is.”
I told you, Zioh, you fool. You’re so broken. Because you forgot, that’s the traitor. The whore. The destroyer.
My chest thundered. Everything felt like it faded out... The silence was so heavy that the voices became deafening
“Remember? She’sSophie,” Cindy breathed, so softly, it made me look at Tshabina like that.Sophie.Sophie.
That name hit me like a blow to my stomach, enough to make the sudden burn climb up my throat.
I stared at Cindy. I didn’t understand, but... my body felt lighter, as if I had become nothing more than a hollow shell. I trembled, yet felt nothing.
“Please, please, no mummy…”A hollow ache opened as black memories flickered back as though a broken tape inside my head. Memories that were so painful, torturous, and destructive.“Wake up! WAKE UP!”I slammed my fists against my head when my own scream from my past rang inside my head.
My vision grew emptier. My body refused to obey any command to move. Especially as those voices kept seeping into me. With a slow, deliberate motion, Cindy plucked the last AirPod from my ear, silencing my world. Her fingers trailed down my cheek, a cold caress that pulled me closer, drawing me into her. “She’s Sophie, Zioh. Remember?” Cindy pressed, speaking low inside me. “She’s the one who killed Mama Nadine.”
My chest tightened.
Killed.She killed her, and now you have forgotten.My mum.The beginning of everything falling apart.
I tried shaking my head as the voices grew louder. I clenched my fists hard, trying to feel pain, but all I could feel was numbness.
My breath came in sharp bursts. “You remember, don’t you?” My pulse roared in my ears, my head aching and spinning. “You should feel sorry for Mama Nadine, Zi.” My eyes fell on the photos that had dropped to the floor.Murder.
“Hhh.”
“She. Is. The murderer.”
A deafening ringing roared in my ears.
I growled as a voice before me called out in worry. I shut my eyes, shaking my head harder. “Enough.” I hit my head again, trying to stop it, but it grew louder. “Shut the fuck up!”
Cindy shook me. “Look at me!” I snapped my eyes to hers. “It’s me, Zi… It’sme.”It was her.It… was her? “I’m the one you promised to protect. The one you promised to make happy. You promised we’d always be together, didn’t you?”
It’s her.
Is it her?
“I’m her,” she whispered. My eyes melted into hers, my chest full. “I’mher,remember?” A tear rolled from my eye.
Look closely. She’s the one you gave your promise to, your love.
My gaze fixed on her, my heart racing. I’m sorry.“The one you love, remember? You promised me,” she murmured.
I’m sorry.My hand reached out, stroking her cheek gently. I let out a shaky breath… How could I forget?
My breath grew ragged, my cold hand caressing her.
It’s her, Zioh. And there, right there in front of you. That’s Sophie.The voices filled my ears, my head, and my hearing. Loud and clear.
Female and male.Them.
Voices that had always accompanied me as if a part of my soul, always speaking around me. Voices only I could hear, for years, since I was a teenager.
From the start, I’d known there was something wrong with me, the reason my father called me crazy, defective, and the reason my mum and my brother begged me to get treatment.
At first, faces. Scents. Only I could see it. Only I could smell it.
And thenthem.
