Oh no.
I gaped for a moment, my mouth dry. “Mas, I—”
“To the point.” His tone grew sharper, his steps bringing him closer. “Where were you?” His jaw tightened as his eyes locked onto mine. “You stayed the night with Zioh, didn’t you?”
The fury and the chill radiated from him, but worst of all, the disappointment.Oh, no, no, no.I blinked hard, willing the burning in my eyes not to betray me.
My lips parted. “Mas, listen to me first—”
“I know you’re an adult,” he cut me off, voice like ice, sharp with suppressed rage. “You can make your own choices, live your own life.” His body was rigid, and each breath escaped him, brief and unsteady. “But does it have to be like this, Tshabina? Running off with some man, stayingout all night, sneaking back in the morning, ignoring my calls?” His eyes reddened. “Was this how you were raised? By who?!”
And there it was—the dam finally breaking after years of silence. All the frustration and the ache he’d buried came spilling out.
His breathing grew ragged as he pushed the words at me like accusations. “Dad? Me? Or Mo—” he bit it off, tore off his glasses, and turned away. One hand dragged down his face as he tried to steady himself.
He wouldn’t even look at me.
The ache in my chest was unbearable. I gulped, shifted on the stairs, aching to reach him, to apologize. But not for what I’d done. Because even if time rewound, I’d still choose the same path.
I only wished he could understand.
But the truth that I’d hurt him was enough to shred me inside.
I watched his stiff back, twisting my fingers in agony. “Mas Bibu…” My voice quavered, cracking as I spoke his name.
“Since when?” he asked in a low tone.
“Mas—”
“Since when?”
I bit my inner lip at his icy tone. “Zioh and I… We’ve been close again since shortly after he returned here,” I blurted, desperation lacing my voice. “Mas, I—I wanted to tell you, but I—”
“You’ve gone too far, Dek.” His voice was hoarse, low, his eyes blazing with rage and disappointment as he finally turned to me.
And my tears fell.
Weak. Weak. Weak.
Tsabinu brushed past me, heading towards the stairs, but I caught his arm. A sudden surge hit like a lightning strike, draining the strength from my legs. I couldn’t let himwalk away. Not like this. Not with anger. Not with the fact that he hated me. Not leaving me the way everyone else had.
“Mas, p-please, don’t be angry with me,” I begged, “Listen—”
“What’s there to explain?” he shot back, vibrating with suppressed fury. “How did you end up sleeping with Zioh?” His eyes burned. “Or what?”
“Mas…” My throat rasped, my tears unstoppable. “You know what he means to me…” My voice faltered, but I pressed on and clung to him. “And you know what happened to all of us back then…” I choked on my sobs. “It wasn’t easy for me either…”
The memories clawed at me. “You’ve realized too, Zioh, Zeraiah, they changed after Mama Nadine died.” I sniffled. “Something happened to them, Mas, something I can’t just ignore. Z-Zioh i-is—”
My voice faltered too much to continue, so I swallowed hard, tried again, and my damn tears were streaming. “Mas… Zioh is—”
Before I could finish, Tsabinu yanked his hand free. His gaze bored into me. And in that moment, I realized I had failed again. “Not just them,” he cut in, his voice low and taut with pain.
“Ustoo.” He paused, making me realize how much his body was shuddering. “We’ve changed, Dek.” The words caught in his throat. “Whether you realize it or not.”
He shook his head and slashed through me when his words came again. “But it seems… they’re the only ones who matter to you.”
With that, he turned, walking away, leaving me trembling and bawling my eyes out, and I could only stare at the rigid backof my brother.
