But still, not this. Not now. Not under these circumstances.
I remembered how I had caught Zioh drinking a year ago—drinking until he lost consciousness. I was furious, especially at Tsabinu, who had secretly kept him company and dragged him to bed once he was tipsy.
I had been livid because what on earth were they thinking?
Tsabinu had tried to placate me, insisting it was just a one-off teenage slip when Zioh needed an outlet. But what kind of excuse was that? Tsabinu had never thought that way before, and it made me angrier that he thought it was fine.
So, I glared at them, warning them in silence. This time, for their own health, we could have fun in other ways, ourways, not with alcohol, especially when we were all fragile already.
“If they dare, I’ll tell Uncle Bakti—no,” I muttered under my breath, drifting away from them. “I’ll tell Mas Zaeem…”
Mas Zaeem, when angry, could be frightening enough, especially when it came to Zeraiah. He was firm, and Zeraiah listened to him—but never felt hurt by it.
It was different from Uncle Bakti. For some reason, his father’s words always left Zeraiah wounded. He was more sensitive with his dad.
As we boarded Grandpa Ethan’s yacht, I kept my distance from them, leaving Zioh and Tsabinu to throw sharp, warning glances at Zeraiah. As always, Zeraiah shot back his careless, defiant look. “What?” he barked at them.
Yet compared to my irritation, the yacht utterly enchanted me. Though I had grown used to the Danudara family’s grandeur in Indonesia, Mama Nadine’s family was in an entirely different league. From the first day I had arrived in London and witnessed the splendour of Zioh and Zeraiah’s maternal relatives, I had finally understood what true luxury and old money meant. This yacht, gliding along the Thames, was a floating palace.
I kept glancing left, right, and up in awe. The most striking feature was the swimming pool on the main deck. My eyes sparkled, my mouth parted in quiet wonder. Even above it, a minibar stretched out, lined with trays of food, snacks, and drinks, and each side of the deck offered sun loungers.
I climbed staircases, explored every corner, letting the magnificence soak into me. At last, I reached the forward deck on the very top and tightened the coat around my shoulders.
I looked ahead. Wow, we could probably play badminton up here…
Sinking into one of the sofas, I stared at the luxury and scenery around me. For a fleeting moment, I wished my whole family—Mama Nadine, Dad, Mum, and Uncle Bakti could have been here too, to share this beauty and to be happy together again, as usual. How wonderful it would be if we could all be here together.
As I was lost in my reverie, Zioh appeared, offering me a warm drink. He had even brought a bowl of fruit dusted with chocolate.
Exhaling, I accepted it, though my face remained sullen, my mood unwilling to soften.
He sat beside me, gazing gently. “Promise no alcohol tonight. Zeraiah’s already been scolded,” he murmured, while I turned away, staring at the Thames as the yacht glided forward. I stabbed a grape, dipped it in chocolate, and popped it into my mouth.
“Tonight we’re meant to have fun, aren’t we?” Zioh coaxed, brushing my cheek as I chewed. “Let’s not stay upset, hm?
I turned and frowned at him, my eyes sharp. “Promise?”
He gave a soft smile and nodded. “Promise.”
“And promise me you won’t drink again,” I pressed, meeting his gaze. “We’re still young, it’s not right.” I meant teenagers, of course. He was already seventeen, but still—it didn’t feel right.
Zioh said nothing. He only gave me a faint smile and plucked a piece of fruit from the bowl, as if refusing to commit.
Something in him had been slipping away for two years—a missing piece. From the outside, he seemed fine, filling his time with studying, drawing, extra lessons, and even the gym with Mas Zaeem. None of that was bad, but it wasn’t the point.
The point was… There was a pattern unsettling him—something gnawing at his peace. The tension radiated from him, heavy and unmistakable.
But he never let me in. He never allowed me toseehim.
The time passed as we sat side by side, our eyes fixed on the shimmering city. “Zi… look at that!” I cried again, and each time, Zioh smiled at my excitement. We talked, listened, laughed, and even embraced. I hurried to the end of the deck to get a better view, and he pulled me into his arms.
“Are you cold?” he asked.
I shook my head. “No.”Not when I’m holding you.
Tsabinu had been at the piano all the time, his music wrapping around us. He had discovered a grand piano on the main deck and had not left it since. Zeraiah, well, I could only hear his chaos, not see him.
“Wow, Zi…” I gasped as we stood on the far end of the deck. “It’s so beautiful.”
