Tshabina’s footsteps drew closer. I didn’t need to turn to know it was her.
“Zioh...?” Her soft voice called, barely more than a whisper. The way she said my name was like a lullaby in my ears. I turned and looked at her. Her hazel eyes shone warm and clear even in the dark. She watched me, almost trembling.
I held her gaze across the distance that separated us. “Do you remember what happened in the shower that time?” My voice was hoarse, and her expression suddenly became careful.
No, don’t.
I kept staring straight at her while she remained silent. “I told you it was therapy, but I never explained it further.”
You’d regret this. Especially her—
Especially her.
She deserved more.
Looking at her, I let myself take in her beauty and warmth. She didn’t speak, didn’t look away, as if urging me to keep going.To finally let her in.
“I’ve been on medicine and therapy…” My throat burned as the words escaped, but I knew Tshabina heard me, because her body went rigid.
She wouldn’t see you the same.I clenched my palms, trying to steady my breath and fighting the surge of darkness clawing inside me.
My body trembled as I dragged my gaze away—she deserved this. My gaze locked onto hers again. “I tried,” I said, my voice breaking. I shook my head, forcing the words out once more. “I tried.” My voice cracked, trembling as I watched her step closer. “But… it didn’t work.”
I loathed showing her this side of me.
Not the Zioh she once knew.
Not her hero.
Only a man who can lose control in a heartbeat… and I was terrified that the worst part of me would reach her again.
My jaw ached as she drew nearer. My tongue felt numb, barely able to move, until her eyes caught mine again. Whenshe touched the deep part of me, I knew I could go on. “And… I met that girl.” I swallowed hard. “Cindy—” The name slipped out, trembling, “When I was trying to recover.”
Tshabina stood right before me, her soft gaze raised to mine, coaxing me to step inside her calm and breathe again.
I shouldn’t need you this much, but I did.
She flinched at the name but stayed silent, letting me continue. Her eyes remained fixed on me. “There’s so much you don’t know, Tshabina. But if I had to put it in words…” My knuckles whitened from the pressure in my fists, pain leaking out through my eyes. “I’m sick, baby.”
Her body shivered. She reached for my clenched hands and gently stroked them. Her breath trembled as she licked her lips, her gaze anchoring into mine. “What happened to you, Zioh?” Her voice quivered, her tears streaming. “Sick… how?”
My body shook, and I stood there, unsure whether to run or stay. “Something thatchangedme,” was all I could say.
Her sob broke the air. “Did anyone know?” She shook her head in disbelief, her tears pooling. “Mas… Bibu?”
I shook my head. “My family,” I answered. My throat was tight as I swallowed hard. “And now you.”
Tshabina wiped her tears, shaking before me. I’d unsettled heragain,hurt heragain. I broke my promise to her fuckingagain.
She met my eyes once more, still wet with tears. “Is it bad?” Her voice shook.
Holding her gaze for a long moment, I raised my hand to wipe her tears, but it lingered in the air, shaking, and then dropped back to my side.“Yes.It makes me hate you.”
Her sobs deepened, and I pulled her into me, making her cries muffled into my chest. My hands shook as I cradled her head against me, letting my pillar lean on me instead.
Please… what should I do?
The thought that I might do it again felt enough to stop my heart.
