I am here. I never go anywhere, Zioh.
“Zi—”
He blinked, as if he needed a moment to gather himself before he went on. “I want to explain it to you,” his voice quivered. “I swear I do.”
His eyes wavered, and I wasn’t the only one crying. “I’m… I’m just so scared that I’ll hurt you again, baby.”
He swallowed hard, forcing the words out. “I’m terrified I’ll hurt you because of my fucked-up brain!” he shouted, striking his own head. Holding my breath, I released one hand from the wheel and reached out to him, clutching his hand in a tight grip.
“Zioh…” My tears carried the weight of my brokenness.
What should I do, Zioh?
My hand trembled as I clutched the wheel, fighting to steady my breath. “You know you can tell me anything, Zi,” I whispered, stealing glances at him, trying to soothe, to reassure.I’m here.“Remember what I told you at the penthouse a while ago—”
“No.” His head moved with a faint shake. “I… I… can’t…”
“Zioh—”
His eyes locked onto mine, tense, haunted. “You’ll never see me the same if you know.”
I shook my head. “What’s that supposed to mean—”
“Please… just trust me, baby.” His weak voice trembled, unsteady but pleading. “Wait for me a little longer. Please.” His whisper cracked, and his eyes held mine. “I’ll sort this out…”
I turned, meeting his gaze as I halted the car at a red light.
And I chose to trust. To wait.Again.
“I will, Zi,” I murmured, steadying him. “I told you I’ll wait, didn’t I?”
He gave me a faint nod.
The light turned green, and I drove us further away, but beside me, Zioh shifted, unable to stay still. I glanced, and he was staring at his phone. His AirPods were in, and his body was tense.
“Do you want to rest at the penthouse?” I asked.
Zioh looked at me, shook his head. His breath quickened. “Can you take me to a hotel?”
“Okay—”
“And I need you to stay with me.”
« -- * -- »
I sat on the edge of the hotel bed, and my legs wouldn’t stay still. I had brought Zioh to one of the hotels where Tsabinu and Zaeem frequently stayed for business because it was the only place I could think of. The receptionist recognized Zioh after I showed her his ID, and she handed us a suite without question.
He’d gone into one of the rooms. As the hiss of the shower filled the hall, I gave him privacy, taking another of the four bedrooms.
My heart pounded as if I’d run for miles, and I bit my lip until it burned. My mind was crowded with voices crashing into one another, and it all hit me in one messy wave, stealing the strength I’d worked so hard to build.
I sighed. “What really happened…?”
Then, I remembered Tsabinu’s eyes. Even back in the car park, I knew he’d seen something. My brother sensed there was something between Zioh and me, and when I pulled Zioh away, his eyes pierced through us, sharp, demanding.
I exhaled hard. “I’ll have to talk to Mas Bibu after this…”
Silence filled the room, and I glanced at the door. No sound from outside. Was Zioh done showering? Maybe asleep?
