Andi sighed with a long and heavy breath. “Nothing, Bib. Just nonsense, like you always say.” His voice softened. “Go on, sleep, yeah? Shit, sorry for disturbing you this late. Won’t happen again.”
“Andi—”
The line cut off with an echoing beep, and I was already standing straight again. Rigid, I stepped back and closed the door slowly. My hands clutched the wall, and I dragged my body away from there.
42
Tshabina
Christmas and New Year Holidays 2013
Tsabinu, Zioh, Zeraiah, and I spent our holidays in London. My favourite day so far was yesterday, when we went to Hyde Park Winter Wonderland. However, my wish list was still long, and I wanted to do so much more.
But… today, I was trapped.
Zioh wouldn’t let me go out; worse still, Tsabinu sided with him. Ultimately, Mama Nadine confirmed their decision: it would be better to stay and do our homework.
Homework…
On Christmas and New Year’s holiday.
In London.
So cruel!
If Zeraiah had seen us, he’d have called us nerds in a heartbeat. Lucky for him, he was holed up in his room and playing PlayStation. He had more freedom here. Back in Jakarta, he rarely got to do what he loved, and Mama Nadine seemed more lenient here, letting him do as he pleased.
I’d lost count of how many times I sighed, my face propped up by my palm as I stared, eyes half shut, at this pile of boring papers.
“If you just stare at it, it’s never going to get done.” Zioh’s voice at my side made me sulk all the harder. “I explained it earlier. Try it first.” He glanced at me, his tone gentle yet firm as he tapped the sheet before me. “If you don’t get it, I’ll explain again.”
Another sigh escaped me.
Slumping my shoulders, I glanced at the pile of worksheets and flipped through them withoutmuchinterest. Shooting Zioh a glare, I muttered, “Yeah… the problem is,” my breath came out in a huff. “I still don’t get it.”
My grades were terrible in math, physics, chemistry—anything with calculations—and only barely acceptable in biology and history. Unlike Zioh and Tsabinu, who always got the best grades in every subject. And as for Zeraiah, dozens of trophies lined his bedroom—he always won national and international language competitions.
Annoyed, I kept flipping pages until Zioh sighed beside me. We sat downstairs in the grand living room, next to the lavish Christmas tree. Earlier, I’d tried to escape by saying I wanted to decorate it, even convincing the staff to move the table and chairs. But Zioh had seen through my lousy excuse and caught me.
“It’s not that you don’t understand,” he murmured, “you’re not motivated to learn it.”
I shot him a pout. Zioh rarely chided me, never snapped at me, or scolded me. Even when I argued with Zeraiah in the car, he never minded.
He could forgive my other mistakes and always stood up for me, but when it came to studying, he was unyielding, like Tsabinu.
Zioh and Tsabinu had been disciplined since childhood and driven by clear goals. Their dreams had rubbed off on Zeraiah as well. The three of them had set their sights on Oxbridge: Zioh aimed for Cambridge, Zeraiah for Oxford, and Tsabinu, determined to gain admission to one or the other.
And me?
I didn’t know.
My grades weren’t like theirs. My aim was just to get into a state university back home.
Zioh sighed again, though his voice softened. “Don’t slack off. You’re in your second year now, uni’s just around the corner.” His hand brushed my cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as he coaxed me. “Didn’t you say you’re aiming for SN just so you don’t have to deal with SBM, right?” His voice lowered. “If you pass, I promise, onceyou’ve got a free holiday, I’ll bring you back here, and we’ll go see my campus, yeah?”
Those words made my eyes sting. The feeling slid down my chest, forcing it to cave inward. This topic had cracked something inside me for years. He would be leaving soon—Zioh, then Zeraiah, maybe even Tsabinu.
They’d leave me behind.
