Because the truth was…
Everything I’d felt, everything I’d seen… was real.
My heart slammed against my ribs. Sweat slid down from my neck.
There was one thing I desperately wanted to tell Tsabinu. Something I had carried for years, locked away, because honestly, I doubted myself. It felt as if a parasite built its nest in my head.
I couldn’t tell anyone, not because I didn’t trust them. But because my head was full of dark whispers, and my heart felt as though it were going to give out whenever I tried.
But with Tsabinu, the words came easy. There was a rare safety in him, as if I could spill every secret I’d ever kept. Maybe because he was like another version of me, different, but similar in specific ways. Though younger, his maturity was calming, as if there was another, steadier part of me that I could lean on at any moment.
“Bibu…” I called with a shaky voice.
Tsabinu, who had been watching Sophie and Zeraiah, turned to me. His slow, calm glance made my chest tighten. I licked my lips and clenched my fists inside the deep pockets of my coat.
“I think… something’s wrong with Dad lately.” In truth, it had been going for years—I justhadn’t been sane enough to admit it to myself.I shook my head. Tsabinu stayed silent, his eyes fixed on me, waiting for me to continue.
My voice came out hoarse. “A few days ago, I saw Dad chatting with someone,” I said. “He looked… so happy.”
My gaze dropped to my feet, bounced against the ground.
“Then… last week, before I left, at the airport, Dad excused himself to the loo.” I licked my lips again, shaking my head. “But he took so long, so I went looking for him.” I swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in my throat. I blew out a heavy breath. “And you know what?” My eyes met Tsabinu’s again, sharper now, trembling. “I-I saw him… w-with a young girl.”
The words slipped out like a long-buried curse, as though uttering them would condemn my life forever.
I paused, scanning around us to ensure no one else could hear. My heart hammered. It felt as though something was stealing the air I drew in because it wasn’t reaching my lungs.
Cold sweat pricked down my back.
“She looked like she had just arrived. She was carrying a suitcase.” I looked at my best friend with eyes burning with a sharp sting. “They went into a restaurant together…” My voice dropped lower, my chest so tight it ached.
“I followed them, Bib. I peeked inside, and… my d-dad looked so—” I shook my head, unease flooding me.So messed up.“I don’t know, but he looked like he adored her so much.”
A stabbing cold coursed through me. My words turned into a great stone that pressed me down because my legs were on the verge of crumbling beneath me. “I couldn’t see her face clearly.” I shook my head over and over. “I only noticed… she looked young. Long black hair, and she wore a denim jacket…”
Even though we were in an open space, I was trapped in a small box, water rising to my mouth. The cold started to bite into the bone. “Dad paid for their meal… and… h-he k-kissed her, Tsabinu.”
My heart almost stopped.
It felt like the ground beneath me cracked open and devoured me whole becauseeverything was real.My voice trembled with the truth. “Many times. On her cheeks.” I gulped. “On h-her head.”
Tsabinu swallowed hard, his body trembling just like mine. Our eyes locked, both of us breath quickened. My unrest seeped into him, as if he could feel my fear and brokenness.
I dragged my hands down my face. “I don’t want to think the worst, but…” My legs shifted, shaking.Crazy.“I-I think there are only two possibilities.”Or maybe not possibilities.
Tsabinu didn’t interrupt, standing frozen, listening patiently. I could hear my heart racing in my ears, and I never felt so dead inside as I did when these words came out of my mouth. “Either she’s his secret daughter, or…” My whole body shook, fists clenching tighter.Cheating.I whispered, the words nearly lost before they reached him. “Dad is having an affair.”
My throat was tight as I blinked back tears, as I tried figuring out how this was happening.
We stared at one another, our eyes quivering, thinking what neither wanted to admit. Every suspicion, every dark possibility filled my head, gnawed at me. Until now, I had carried this secret alone. Now, one more person knew: Tsabinu.
I couldn’t forgive myself for being such a coward, hiding it from both my siblings, Sophie, and, worst of all, from my mum.It was all your fault.But… I had to know the truth first.You already knew, you just denied it with your craziness.
Because if it were true... If my crazy suspicions were true,this was all definitely true.
How could I ever tell my mum?
Mum loved him so much.
