“So—you just woke up one morning and realised it was over?” Tanner sounded mystified.
“No,” he shook his head. “Guess it all came to a head when Julie got a job offer in New York. She wants to be a big shot lawyer. Jetset all over the world, traveling from city to city, live in hotel rooms, and own a condo on the beach. She doesn’t want kids and isn’t planning on ever settling down. We met when she was finishing her law degree, and I was just starting my own firm. We were so busy we just sort of—got together, had a good time, but really didn’t worry about theafterpart of a committed relationship, if that makes any sense. Anyway—she got a job offer at a big firm in New York, and she came home, super excited, talking a hundred miles an hour about moving, and how we should start looking for a condo in Brooklyn and maybe one in the Hamptons for weekend getaways.” Lance shook his head over the memory. It had felt so surreal. Watching her talk so animatedly but sounding more and more like a stranger with each passing second. She’d danced around the house, squealing excitedly, and all Lance had been able to think about was how far away she seemed already, even though she was right there in front of him.
“And you didn’t want that? New York condos and being a jetsetter?” Tanner asked, with his head tilted to the side like a curious puppy.
“Nope, not at all,” Lance replied, with absolute certainty. “I’m a homebody at heart and always have been. I’d rather be at home watching a movie with a beer than going out every night clubbing.”
“I mean—you did choose going into accounting over going with the NFL. There’s our first clue right there,” Tanner observed with an eyeroll.
“Exactly,” Lance replied, pointing at him with the Allen wrench for emphasis.
“I take it she wasn’t pleased when you didn’t respond with equal enthusiasm.”
Lance snorted. Not pleased was an understatement.
“I told her that I didn’t think we wanted the same things anymore, and that I was staying here to build my business and to be with my family. She got really pissed off and began screaming like a banshee.” In retrospect, he should have worked harder on communication, but hindsight was always 20/20, wasn’t it?
“I mean—I kind of understood her anger. It wasn’t like she’d never talked about her dream of pursuing a position with a big corporate law firm. I should have clued her in sooner that I had no intentions of moving to the big city. I owed it to her and to myself to make it clear from the start that I wasn’t the right guy to live that life.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t intentional. I just—I got swept up in the fun aspects of my first committed relationship and it kind of felt like tomorrow would never come,” he admitted with a shrug. Tanner was still looking at him like he didn’t quite understand though, so Lance carried on. “I was pretty good at just living in the moment when we got together. She liked my dependability andstability. I liked that she was independent and fierce. It worked, mostly. But we were so—separate from each other, that I guess when we started growing in different directions, we never really noticed,” he explained, and Tanner nodded in understanding.
He finished attaching the last screw with a faint smile.
“Still—I’m sorry it ended that way. Couldn’t have been easy. You think you’ve got your entire life figured out—and suddenly—” Tanner drifted off, and Lance thought maybe some of their issues might have something in common.
While Lance wanted to wave the sentiment away and play it off, he couldn’t quite manage it. No one else had acknowledged that particular aspect of his life before. Strange that he was only realizing that now. When he’d told Parker about the breakup, Parker just said he was sorry to hear it, slapped him on the back, and went back to playing on his X-box. His mother had told him he’d find someone better and then re-directed the conversation to discuss her social calendar. He hadn’t talked to Jeremy about it yet but figured he’d mostly likely be fairly blasé about it too. No one in his family had cared all that much. It was just a break-up. No big deal.
Thrown off track by Tanner’s insights, Lance simply nodded in shared understanding.
“What’s next?”
Much of the evening passed that way with Tanner helping Lance put the bar together, going step-by-step, as they shared tidbits about their lives. Tanner told Lance about his twin sister Cameron and about how overprotective she was now that he was home again. He clearly didn’t tell him everything, but it was enough to convince Lance to share a few things about his own siblings. He talked about Parker and Jeremy. About what it was like growing up with two much younger brothers and always looking out for them. How hard his mother worked to pay thebills, and how he’d tried to help her manage the situation they’d been in. Tanner was a good listener and never pressed for more information than Lance was willing to share. Before long Lance felt far more comfortable talking with Tanner than he ever had with—well, anyone.
“What’s the youngest brother doing these days?” Tanner asked, just as Lance connected the last two sections.
“Jeremy is finishing high school. He’s a little shit, but he’s pretty harmless,” he replied with a quick shrug.
“And your dad?” Tanner asked casually, but clearly curious.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Lance stated coldly. “Last I heard he was in New Mexico, living in a trailer with his latest girlfriend.”
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“Five years ago. He showed up at my last game, got black out drunk in the stadium, and instead of celebrating our championship win, I got to clean vomit from the bleachers and drive his passed-out ass back to his shitty apartment.” A wealth of deep-seated anger and resentment emerged as he recalled what happened that day. His dad had ruined one of the best days of Lance’s life, but that was par for the course with his worthless piece of shit father. He’d ruined most good moments in Lance’s life right up to the time he’d kicked him out of his life for good.
“You know, that championship game was the last game I saw before I got deployed. Actually, it’s the last football game I’ve watched, period,” Tanner confessed, snorting at the irony of it all.
“You’re kidding me!”
Tanner shook his head. “Three days after that game and your last touchdown, I hopped on a cargo plane to the Middle East.”
“Shit—” Lance said, sitting back in shock. “And you haven’t watched a game since you got back?”
Tanner shook his head. “It’s weird. I never know what might be a trigger, so I’ve been avoiding watching TV at my sister’s house, because I don’t want to have any episodes in front of my nieces. I don’t even own a television now.”
“The Badgers are playing the Ohio Buckeyes tonight. My brother’s warming the bench, but it should still be a good game. How about I order pizza, we crack open a few beers, and just relax with the game and see if Parker gets a chance to strut his stuff on the field.”
