“Try to slow your breathing,” one of the paramedics advised. “You’ll pass out if you hyperventilate.”
Right. Slow his breathing. Easy-peasy, lemon fuckery. If Tanner knew how to slow anything, it was his mind—to a fucking standstill, as every nerve ending in his body caught fire, urging him to get the fuck off this metal death trap as soon as possible.
“You jump, I tackle,” Lance warned, proving once more just how easily he could read Tanner’s mind.
“I’m freaking out,” he said, like it wasn’t perfectly goddamned obvious.
“You’d be crazy not to be,” Lance pointed out with a shrug. “I’m freaking out, and I’ve never crashed before. You’ve crashedtwice.”
“You’re freaking out?” Tanner asked, turning to stare at his boyfriend as the paramedics finished securing the gurney they’d “borrowed” for their little outing. It had taken some finagling but the head of orthopedics himself, Dr. Pilsner, intervened on his behalf, verifying the urgent need for immediate transfer. They’d gotten an ambulance to drive him to the airfield and provide a transport stretcher so that Tanner’s leg would remain stable during the flight. He didn’t have to be lying down or strapped in, which reduced his anxiety. At least fromhis sitting position, he'd get to see the ground hurtling towards them before the helicopter crashed.
“I’m afraid of heights,” Lance declared calmly.
“What?” Tanner asked in patent disbelief.
“I’m afraid of heights,” he repeated, with a shrug.
“Then why the fuck did you agree to—” but Lance didn’t let him finish.
“Did you really think I’d let you get on this death bird by yourself?”
And no, Tanner supposed it was a moot point. Their relationship was still new, and there was still so much they didn’t know about each other, but he knew perfectly well just how loyal Lance was.
“Why don’t you distract the two of us?” Lance proposed, nodding towards the cockpit where Dave’s friend was preparing for take-off. “Tell me what the pilot’s doing.” Dave was sitting in the front passenger seat, wearing a sunny smile as he conversed excitedly with his friend. Obviously, the pilot and Dave were going to be the only ones enjoying this little adventure.
Tanner wasn’t sure he’d be very good at distracting either of them, but it was worth a try, if only to make Lance happy. Besides, anything was better than counting down the seconds until they crashed and burned.
“He has to adjust the collective pitch lever. Then he’ll switch on the battery, the avionic master switch, the fuel boost, all the lights—”
“Okay, lots of switches, got it, what else,” Lance said, interrupting Tanner midway through that list. He snorted at Lance’s impatience but skipped ahead.
“Right now, he’s checking all his gauges to make sure he has enough oil and fuel,” Tanner said, watching the pilot’s every move. It felt familiar—and not in the terrifying, panic-inducing way as when he’d first boarded. Muscle memory madehis fingers twitch as he watched. They itched to do everything on the pre-flight checklist he knew so well.
“Now—do you hear that? That’s the engine turning on,” he explained as the helicopter began to hum louder, accompanying the increase in RPMs of the turboshaft engine. They put on their aviation headsets so they could keep talking while in flight and not be drowned out by the sound of the engine and the whirling of the rotor blades.
“You boys ready?” Dave asked, as he turned to look at them, smiling brightly. He looked like an excited little boy in a hurry to share his birthday present with his friends.
“As we’ll ever be,” Lance answered, filled with equal amounts of fear and anticipation. He grabbed Tanner’s hand. Dave smiled in approval as they interlaced their fingers. The pilot switched the main rotor blades on, and Dave let out a whoop of excitement. They were officially ready for take-off now. The main rotor blades spun rapidly, lifting them skywards.
All of it was so damned familiar, and Tanner’s feelings of loss and excitement vied for dominance. There was nothing quite like this feeling. At the mercy of an engine, a few fiberglass blades, and the wind, and feeling like a god as you mastered all three. Tanner had given up a lot of things in his life for this euphoric, irreplaceable thrill and it felt so goddamned bittersweet to have forsaken it. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed being a pilot until this moment. The helicopter reached cruising altitude, and he listened to the pilot communicate with the air control tower in a jargon that was like a second language. If Dr. Carson’s plan worked, maybe he’d face his fears and take a chance on climbing into the cockpit again someday. Maybe the risk would be worth the reward.
“Holy shit, we’re kinda high up,” Lance said nervously, looking out the window, beads of sweat popping out on his forehead.
“About 1500 feet, yeah,” Tanner confirmed with satisfaction as he waited for Lance’s response.
“Look who’s acting all tough, now!” Lance teased him as he turned to share a smile.
“Just thought you’d like to know how far we’d fall if the engine died or—”
“Let’s not have that negative attitude on board, thank you,” Dave interrupted, reminding Tanner that they all shared the same communications line, meaning he could hear everything Tanner and Lance were saying.
“I’m afraid that’s Tanner’s humour for you, Dave,” Lance said. “Always such a negative-Nelly.”
Tanner lightly smacked Lance in the middle of his chest in retaliation.
“No fighting, boys,” Dave warned, laughing when he heard the smack.
“Yeah, you heard Dave. Be nice to me!” Tanner said.
