“We need to get you to the ER. Can you stand?”
It took a few seconds for Tanner to respond. He nodded and put his arm around Lance’s waist.
“Yeah, but I’ll need some help. Stay on my right side so I can lean on you. My left side is pretty fucking useless right now.”
Unable to meet that bright hazel gaze, so filled with pain, Lance just nodded and helped his boyfriend to the car.
He reminded himself to just keepmoving.
Chapter 21
Lance kept looking at him like he was expecting him to collapse or scream or suffer a breakdown. Even though Lance had finally stopped apologizing and fallen silent, Tanner was confident that he knew exactly what Lance was thinking and feeling. Lance’s guilty expression pained Tanner almost as much as his leg—almost, but not quite.
They were waiting for the results of the X-rays, which would be shared with them in a meeting with the radiologist, Dr. Kramer, but Tanner didn’t need her to tell him it was broken. There was no doubt about it. He’d known as soon as he’d taken that disastrous step backwards. Hadfeltthe bone break. The pain that accompanied the break was just too damned familiar, forcing him to clench his teeth hard enough to crack his molars to hold back his screams. He wouldn’t give that piece of shit fuckwad the satisfaction. He’d waited until Lance’s dad was out the door before finally collapsing onto the couch as the pain flared up in nauseating waves. His leg burned and felt hollow at the same time. He wasn’t sure how to describe it properly, but he knew that weird sensation well enough to know what the new X-rays would show.
Still, he could tell Lance was working on staying calm, so he didn’t say anything negative as the nurse handed him water and pain relievers, urging him to relax, while they waited for the results.
Relax, sure thing. After all, what the fuck else was there to do?
“I’m not going to spontaneously combust or anything, you know.” Tanner tried for a laugh as he gave Lance a sideways glance. It failed. Lance did not look amused. At all.
“We should call your sister,” Lance suggested with a frown.
“What for?” Tanner asked with a quick shrug. “We don’t know anything yet. What would be the point?”
“She was with you for your kinesiologist appointment, right? She could talk to the doctors, maybe help them decide—”
“Iwas at that appointment, and I’m perfectly capable of deciding what to do with my own leg, thank you very much,” Tanner replied sarcastically. “I’m not four years old, Lance.”
“Then maybe she’d like to be here for support!” Tanner had never heard Lance be so snippy. But it wasn’t as if Tanner was feeling all that chipper and Disneyesque himself. He was not having a magical day. Quite the opposite in fact. It would have been so easy—so damned easy—to respond in kind and pick a fight. Just the two of them, yelling at each other in a semi-private ER room. Now, wouldn’t that be a fun show for the nursing staff? Tanner restrained himself. Lance was upset. Riddled with guilt. He was just reacting. Picking a fight wouldn’t accomplish anything.
“Let’s just wait and see what the doctors have to say. Then we’ll call the panic police.” Tanner grabbed Lance’s hand, giving it an affectionate squeeze. He needed Lance to snap out of this dark mood. It would be best for both of them. The situation was bad enough as it was. An argument was not the solution.
Lance looked at the floor, avoiding Tanner’s gaze as he’d been doing for the past hour.
“How the fuck are you this calm?” Lance asked.
Tanner shrugged and sighed, still holding Lance’s hand. “How would panicking help me?”
“I fucking broke your leg!” Lance snapped, startling Tanner with his sudden outburst. Tanner didn’t let go of Lance’s hand though; instead, he tightened his grip.
“No, you didn’t,” he stated calmly. “Not even your piece of shit father can be blamed for that. I was a moron and stepped the wrong way. It could have happened while playing tag with my nieces.” He wanted to alleviate Lance’s guilt and reassure him at the same time.
“Oh, fuck off!” Lance snarled. Jerking out of Tanner’s hold, he moved to lean against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. “I was a fucking pussy back at the house. I froze. I juststoodthere. I was so fuckingweakthat you had to step in and save me.” He snorted in self-disgust.
Instinctively, Tanner wanted to protest Lance’s self-flagellation. But he needed to stop and think about the best approach. Lance was pretty wound up, filled with anger and regret, and targeting himself. So, Tanner needed to look at the situation from a new angle.
“Is that what you think of me?” Tanner asked, sitting up on the gurney. Pain shot up and down his leg again, but he ignored it.
Lance looked mystified.
“I don’t—”
“Is that what you think of me? When I ask for your help to get up from the couch? Or when I had to fucking wheel around the zoo on a knee scooter? Or when I wake up screaming in the middle of the fucking night and you have to pet my hair like I’m a six-year-old to calm me down so I can get back to sleep? Do you thinkI’mweak? AmIa pussy then?” He fought to keep his voice steady—to sound rational and perfectly logical.
“What? Of course not!” Lance protested. Tanner almost smiled in satisfaction.
“How is it different? Your father took a fucking swing at you. The guy who’s supposed to love and support you looked like he wanted to kill you!” he said, finally allowing emotion to color his words. “Of course I tried to protect you! Because you nevershould have had to deal with that! Because someone should have fucking stepped up a long time ago and put a fucking end to it. And nothing—nothing!—that happened tonight, was your fault!”
