Seth agreed to take care of Honey, which was my biggest concern, and it really cemented him in my heart as the nicest guy ever. The kind of guy I could give my heart to under other circumstances.
The next month passed quickly while I sorted through James’s stuff, packed what I wanted to keep for storage, and sold or donated the rest. It was sad but also cathartic to let go and try to move on. I also worked on packing away most of my personal items and only kept the main furnishings, bedding, and dishes for the new renters, similar to an AirBNB. But I was able to fit two small Pack 'n Plays in my master bedroom, crammed next to the bed, for the first few weeks until I left for Paris.
My mom was set to come two weeks before the babies were due since twin pregnancies sometimes came early, and then the doctor said when they were three weeks old, we could fly to France, where my mom was setting up the nursery in her new four-bedroom home in preparation. She even offered to interview au pairs, but I told her I wanted to learn to take care of the twins myself. After talking about a basic schedule of what nights and days might look like with twelve diapers and feeding changes every twenty-four hours—times two—I relented and said that the au pair was a good idea, but only for three months. She assured me the big advance she’d been given by her publisher would be more than enough for our needs and I wouldn’t need to work. I could just learn to become a mom and heal.
It honestly sounded wonderful and was how I wanted to step into motherhood.
The doorbell rang, snapping me from my thoughts, and I waddled down the stairs.
Now, at thirty-seven weeks pregnant, I was the size of one of Seth’s prized heifers.
“Coming!” I was getting slower, and the pain in my hips was worse. I swear these babies were rippingme in half.
Seth, Maggie, and I had a Sunday tradition now. They picked me up, and we all went to church together. After, Maggie and I met Ruthie and the others in the widows’ club for lunch while Seth shopped in town. It was my favorite day.
By the time I got to the door, Seth was leaning casually against it, looking more handsome than I remembered him being.
“Congratulations. It took you so long that we can go straight to lunch and skip service,” he joked, and I smacked his arm playfully, which caused him to grin.
He reached out a hand to help me down the step as I peered back at Honey.
“Love you, sweet girl. Be back soon,” I said, and she pecked at something on the hardwood floors.
“I can’t wait to be her new best friend soon,” Seth teased.
He was taking my leaving in stride, and so was Maggie. They seemed to be supportive of whatever I needed, which just made me love their family even more.
“You gonna let her sleep in bed with you?” I asked.
Seth scoffed. “Lord, no. She’ll be in a very comfortable dog bed in the laundry room.”
I scoffed but said nothing more. I should be grateful he was taking care of her at all. Once I got in the truck, Maggie greeted me.
“You’re about to pop! When is your mama coming?” Maggie asked as I heaved myself into Seth’s truck.
“One more week!” I announced and winced at my hip pain when I sat down.
“Oh, that last month is awful. Sleeping much?” Maggie asked as Seth started to drive.
I sighed. “Nope. Braxton Hicks, hip pain, peeing all the time, and I’m hungry constantly.”
“Your mom got everything set up in France?” Maggie asked as Seth got onto the highway.
I nodded. “She’s had a blast shopping for the twins. She’s got a nursery set up in her new home, she hired an au pair who is ready to work for the first three months and stay on more if I need, and she’s just so excited to be a grandma.”
Maggie beamed at me from the back seat. “It’s such a blessing, honey. You’ll be a wonderful mother.”
Seth’s hand casually rested on the wheel, and I followed that to his forearm, then to his muscular biceps. More and more, I was noticing how attractive he was. Then, coupled with being such a sweet guy and a God-fearing man, it really made me wonder if there could be a future for us. But those thoughts always ended in guilt. I felt like since the day I’d gone outside to chop that wood and basically had a mental breakdown, Seth had been there. He was always there, like a loyal dog at my side, waiting to do my every command. It made things confusing.
Seth deserved the best woman in the world, even if that wasn’t me. But the very thought made a spike of jealousy flare through me. The thought of Seth with someone else—it made me feel nauseous. But I knew it would happen one day. It made me think of the note I had neatly stashed in my Bible and how I’d never answered it.
I opened my mouth to ask Seth about the Fourth ofJuly BBQ since the babies would be born then, but we wouldn’t be gone to Paris yet, but then a wet, warm gush came out between my legs.
I sucked in a breath, mortified that I’d just peed on his truck seat, when I realized that waswaytoo much liquid.
Maggie peeked over the front seat, from where she was sitting behind me. “Oh, honey, your water broke.”
Panic sliced through my system as Seth calmy increased our speed by ten more miles per hour. “I’ll take us to the hospital.”
