When he pulled up to my house, he walked me up to the front porch.
“Thanks for inviting me. You have a lovely family,” I told him.
He nodded. “It’s an open invitation. We enjoy having you around.”
I rubbed my arms, and he pulled something out of hisjacket pocket. A small, wrapped present. My heart began to beat wildly in my chest.
“Seth, I didn’t know we were doing gifts.”
He waved me off. “It’s a small silly thing I saw in town and thought of you. Merry Christmas, Ella.” He handed it to me and then leaned in to kiss my cheek. Warmth flooded my body as exhilaration shot through me, immediately followed by guilt. It was too soon for these feelings.
I could see the slice of regret cross his face as he pulled away, which meant I was showing my emotions.
“Night,” I said, and he stepped off the porch and headed home on foot, snow falling on his shoulders and his head.
With a sigh, I stepped inside and was greeted by Honey.
“Hey, pretty girl.” I stroked her feathers. “What do you think he got me?” I asked her as she pecked at the wrapping paper wildly, tearing a hole in it.
Once I finished unwrapping it, I could see that it was a folded-up T-shirt. Unfolding the cloth, I laughed out loud at the screen-printed words.
Chicken Mamawith a picture of a chicken wearing a diaper. I smiled. It was a thoughtful gift, and he was a thoughtful man. But the more time I spent with him, the more I wondered if I was erasing or tarnishing James’s memory.
Chapter Nineteen
Seth
I was falling for her.Ella.It felt like God Himself had put us together to help each other through our situations. And yet…she seemed so far away at times. I knew I’d moved too fast with the cheek kiss last night. She’d looked horrified, and I felt bad after. I cheek-kissed my sister-in-law, too. I hadn’t really thought anything of it. But for Ella, it would be different. I knew that, of all people. For Ella, it would be the first man to get that close to her after her husband died. I hadn’t meant for it to be romantic.
I remembered about four months after I’d lost Scarlett, a woman at church had reached out to hold my hand and squeeze it as I was leaving. It was an innocent thing meant to get my attention and say goodbye, but it shocked me. Because Scarlett used to do that, to hold my hand and squeeze. Now, I feared I’d just crossed aboundary with Ella. It was such a delicate situation with her. It felt like the Lord had placed her here, right next to me in my childhood home, so that I could take care of her. And I would. But it was hard not to notice how pretty she was, how sweet she was, and how funny she was. I was starting to feel things I hadn’t felt since Scarlett.
“Hey, brother-in-law.” Sarah entered the kitchen in her pajamas, and I turned to her, clutching my coffee mug.
“Hey.” I gave her an easy smile. Sarah was a wonderful woman. She’d flown out the second she’d heard Scarlett passed and helped me and Maggie handle everything with the funeral. “Are the tornados still asleep?” I asked.
We often jokingly referred to the twins as tornados because they left a mess of toppled-over items in their wake. But it was all in good fun. I loved my nephews, and it was always a joy to see them.
She grinned. “I’ll hopefully get a cup of coffee in before they wake.”
I laughed. “They have gotten bigger and even more rambunctious than when I last saw them.”
She nodded. “They’re into wrestling now. It always ends in crying, and no matter how many pillows we put down, someone gets hurt.”
I remembered those days with my brothers. “Bruises and elbows to the face give you good character,” I told her.
Sarah smiled, pouring herself a cup of coffee. “Your brother says the same thing.”
“Because I’ve elbowed him in the face more times than I can count.” I laughed.
Sarah smiled, picking up the church flyer from thecounter. “Singles’ night.” She raised one eyebrow and looked at me. “You going?”
I sighed. Sarah knew how hard it had been for me to deal with Scarlett’s death and that of our child. I hadn’t felt ready for years. Now, I did. But the person I wanted wasn’t ready. Might never be. Not with me. Just because you wanted someone didn’t mean they wanted you back. I’d paused for too long, and Sarah was reading into it.
“Seth, it’s been five years. Scarlett would want you to find a good woman and be happy. You can’t do that cooped up inside your house.”
I nodded. “I’m ready to find someone.”
She brightened. “So you’re going to singles’ night? Do you need a wing woman? I can pretend to be single. Derek won’t care.”
