I gave him a nod and walked up the stairs, my palms sweating a little at the thought of meeting a bunch of old widows. My story wasn’t like theirs. I hadn’t had fifty good years with James before he left me. And his death hadn’t been expected like these women had probably expected their husbands to pass at such an old age. I didn’twant to say that my pain or grief was worse, but it wasdifferent. And I hoped it wasn’t going to be a big cry fest the entire time because I’d had enough of that. My stomach had felt a little off this morning, so I was going to use that as an excuse if I felt uncomfortable and needed to leave.
I knocked on the door, but I could hear loud talking and laughing on the other side, so I wasn’t sure anyone had heard me.
I peered down at Seth again to see that his men had left and he was rolling up a hose. He glanced up at me and gestured that I should just walk inside.
Turning the handle, I pulled the door open and was met with a dozen pairs of eyes.
“Is that Ella? Oh, she’s beautiful!” one lady in her fifties said.
Great, they’d already been talking about me.
I gave a nervous smile and waved while balancing the Crock-Pot with my one arm. The first thing I noticed as I did a quick scan was that there werenotall old widows like I’d thought. Well, some of them were. Four ladies looked over seventy, but some were in their thirties, forties, and fifties.
One woman about my age walked over and took the chili from me. “Come on in. We were just about to play Exploding Kittens.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Youplay Exploding Kittens?” The card game was fun but kind of weird and not what I expected of a church meetup.
Maggie nodded. “I play winner!”
I shut the door behind me, and the young woman setthe Crock-Pot full of chili down on a whole table full of other delicious food.
“I’m Ruthie.” She held out a hand to me. Her long blonde hair was draped over one shoulder, and my gaze fell to her necklace to see a wedding ring hanging from it.
I blushed as I realized I was still wearing mine and took her hand to shake it.
Anna peered at my ring. “Oh, that’s beautiful. Funny story: Zach proposed to me by baking my ring into a muffin since I’m a baker.” She held up the ring on her necklace for me to inspect closer. I smiled at the pretty pear-shaped diamond. “But he obviously didn’t tell me, and so I took ahugebite. Chipped my tooth and almost swallowed it.”
I fell into giggles. “For real?”
Maggie came up beside Ruthie, smiling. “Zach was a sweetheart, but not the sharpest tool in the shed.”
Ruthie grinned at that. “It’s true. Gosh, I miss him.”
Tears sprung at the edges of my eyes because I missed James, too. I stroked the ring on my finger. “When James proposed, he was so nervous I thought he was having a seizure.” I shook my hands wildly to imitate him, and everyone around me fell into fits of laughter.
The other women jumped in with hilarious stories about their husbands, and it feltsogood. It felt so good to just talk about James in a way that was natural and with people who understood. It wasn’t some mopey sob story.
“Fifty years and I never told Clint that the reason he had trouble sleeping and constantly woke up to weird sounds was because he was farting,” one of the older ladies said.
I laughed so hard then that I cried. Ruthie helped mefix a plate, and then we all played cards and crafted and listened to music. It was the most fun I’d had in a long time, and I was so happy I’d come. There was an opening prayer and Bible verse, but that was it.
One thing became very clear as the night progressed: The loss of these women’s husbands had driven them closer to God, whereas mine had pushed me away from Him. They talked about the “strength of the Lord” and the Bible verses that got them through, and I just wanted to tear up my Bible and scream at God. Clearly, something was wrong with me, but I was too ashamed to admit that my faith had died with James.
Ruthie was digging into a piece of cherry pie when Gertrude had just finished her story about how Naomi and Ruth in the Bible gave her strength that God restores all He takes.
Ruthie shook her head. “Y’all ran to the Lord when your husbands died, and I closed the door in His face.”
I perked up at her raw truth, which was similar to my own. I wanted to hear more about it and how she was now.
Maggie waved her off. “That’s okay, darlin’. God doesn’t care about that. He’s just happy you came back to Him.”
Ruthie leaned into Maggie and gave her a side hug.
Before I knew it, everyone was packing up to go, and Seth slipped inside to make his plate as all the women fussed over him and added more and more food until he suddenly had two plates and a bowl.
Ruthie smiled at Seth, and I wondered if maybe she liked him. I wouldn’t blame her. He was very good-looking and seemed like a sweet guy from what I knew.
Ruthie noticed me watching her and explained. “That man has been through a lot. It’s nice to see all the women dote on him.”
