I spotted Hannah right away. She wasn’t singing yet, just smiling softly and holding her mic as a brunette belted into the microphone.
The brunette was talented, a clear voice that was honestly radio quality. That must be Jules. Hannah had mentioned her before.
I picked a seat in the back, grateful the lights were off and I could hide in the dark.
I sat back and listened to the words as the song ended.
They were talking about someone being asleep and needing to rise and wake up.
People threw their hands up to the ceiling, and some were even crying. The song ended and everyone clapped, including me. They were a talented group—there was no denying that.
Hannah brought the mic to her lips, and I froze, staring at her as the spotlight illuminated her on stage. “Merry Christmas!” she said with a smile. “I’m so blessed to be singing this next song for you by one of my favorite artists, Lauren Daigle. It’s called ‘Rescue.’”
The crowd clapped wildly, so it was a clear favorite, but I’d obviously never heard of it. Just seeing her up there, wearing a black dress with red tights, her hair a good six inches longer than the last time I saw her…My chest constricted.
The moment she belted the first note, a full-body chill broke out onto my skin.
It suddenly became hard to breathe. I felt something stirring within me. Hannah didn’t just have the voice of an angel. Shewasan angel in that moment. She was glowing from the spotlight, and it felt like she was singing right to me. Like the words were created for me. They spoke about being rescued and your innocence being stolen.
My throat clogged with emotion and I wanted to run. I felt so stupid for being on the verge of tears. It wasn’t just because her voice was beautiful. It was the lyrics. It was this feeling, like…I wasn’t alone.
When she sang about sending out an army to find me, I knew it was from the point of view of God. That whoever wrote the song was saying that God would send an army for the lost and I no longer had control of my emotions.
I couldn’t hold it back. As a tear slipped out of my eye and rolled down my cheek, an immense peace fell over me. It shocked me to my core. I hadn’t realized how lonely and sad I’d been until that moment. I hadn’t realized how at war I’d been within myself until I felt this supernatural peace wash over me. There was no other way to describe it.
What is this? What’s happening to me?
I was actually scared at that moment. I peered around at the people in my row, but they were just smiling joyously and looking at Hannah as she sang about there being no distance God wouldn’t travel to find this lost soul.
My breath was ragged as another tear fell, and I had the strongest urge to throw my hands up to the ceiling like the others.
What’s happening to me?I thought again. I eyed the door to the exit, ready to run out, but then Hannah sang again, her voice as clear as glass.
Again she sang about God rescuing the lost.
Is that what God had done? He’d rescued us? I certainly felt like I was in need of rescuing at that moment. I just wasn’t certain of a magical guy up in the sky who watched us all struggle and didn’t do anything to help.
If God was real, He’d let my mother die and I couldn’t reconcile that. But I also felt lost, broken, my innocence stolen, just like the song said.
“God, if You’re real…rescue me,”I said, and then I stumbled out into the aisle, wiping at my face and making for the double doors. I needed some air. I needed to get out of there. I’d just come to hear Hannah sing; I hadn’t known I’d have a mental breakdown.
I burst out into the hallway and ran smack into an older woman.
“I’m so sorry!” I caught her by the elbows.
She waved me off like it was no big deal, and when I saw her face, my stomach dropped.
“Mrs. Phillips?” I knew her from Hannah’s social media account.
She appraised me and I hoped it wasn’t obvious I’d just been crying.
“Are you Hannah’s Jack?” she asked.
Hannah’s Jack. I hated how much I loved the sound of that.
“I, uhh, I am.”
She must have seen a picture of me online as well.
