I nodded. “My friend Hannah has a church concert in Willow Harbor this weekend. I was hoping to go support her.”
Cedric swallowed a bite of his burger and nodded. “Willow Harbor is the place you go every Christmas, right? In Idaho?”
“Yes, sir,” I told him. It was a special place to me, and it had been ever since I was a kid.
“Is Hannah your girlfriend?” he asked casually.
I wished.
Would that make him more or less likely to let me go?
“No, sir. Just a friend,” I said nervously.
Cedric laughed. “Relax, Jack. I’m just making conversation.”
I realized I was holding my posture stiffly, so I relaxed. “Just trying to avoid going back to prison, sir,” I joked, though it was anything but a joke. Going to federal prison at twenty-one years old was no laughing matter and going back now years later was less funny.
Cedric nodded seriously. “That would be tragic, and I would take it as a personal slap in the face. My goal is to graduate you to full freedom.”
This was why I liked Cedric. He believed in me.
“Do you think that by going on this trip you would be tempted to break the law in any way or ruin any progress we have made here?” he asked.
“No, sir.” I hated that I had made one mistake in life and I was forever marred by it. But I also understood. It was a huge mistake.
He reached into his drawer and handed me a pee cup. “You know the drill.”
I sighed. I’d never done drugs in my life, and this had to be the hundredth pee test I’d taken. Cedric said it was all evidence he was gathering to show the court system that I was a good citizen and no danger to society. So I went into the bathroom, peed in the cup, and left it in the little metal box.
When I came back out, Cedric was waiting for me in the hallway.
“I’ve approved your trip. Have a nice time, Jack.” he told me with a flash of pity in his eyes.
I thought we were over the pity, but every time I saw him, it managed to creep in there at some point. What did he think of me? Poor twenty-one-year-old kid got locked up for two years and ruined his life over a stupid mistake?
It hadn’t been a mistake, though. It hadn’t, and that’s what kept me awake at night.
I’d drunk those beers willingly. I’d grabbed those keys willingly. I’d driven home willingly.
I deserved everything I got. I deserved so much more than two years in prison and six years of probation. I deserved a lifetime of agony, and that’s what I was living.
Chapter Thirteen
HANNAH
My mother’s surgery was scheduled for tomorrow, and we were both happy to get that tumor out of her, even if it meant losing the kidney. It was the final step in her cancer-free plan. Then we could move to targeted radiation and stop the chemo.
Tonight was the worship concert at Willow Harbor Community Church and I was excited. I felt like, with putting all of my time in to running the restaurant and helping my mom get to her appointments, I had been neglecting my relationship with God. I always felt the Holy Spirit when I sang with the worship team. So this would be a good way to connect with Him.
Jack had texted me a simple, “Good luck”,which was sweet, but I couldn’t help but wish he had come. It felt like something special was possibly brewing between us, and I’d really put myself out there, asking him to come. Normally, I wouldn’t even entertain thinking about dating a guy who didn’t have a relationship with Christ, but something about Jack felt special.
It also felt like he was hiding something. Okay, he was definitely hiding something. He had some dark past or deep hurt and I wanted to pry it out of him so that I could help him.
“Pray for my soul, Hannah.”Those words still haunted me. The way he’d said it wasn’t in a mocking way; he’d said it as a plea. Like he really felt his soul was in jeopardy.
I sighed. Jack was a bit of a mess, yet my thoughts kept drifting towards him. His mother had been murdered and that must have been the sadness I detected in his eyes, but what about me praying for his soul? That was something else. Jack was a mystery to me.
“Oh, honey, you look beautiful.” My mom came up behind me as I put the finishing touches on my makeup.
