Her brain had refused to settle to any writing that day. After filling the inkwells, tidying her desk and rearranging the shelves of reference books behind Reg, she had spent the rest of the afternoon staring at a blank sheet of paper.
Reg clicked his tongue as he scanned his books for a volume he needed.
‘Can’t find a ruddy thing up here,’ he grunted.
‘Hmm?’
‘Don’t know why you had to mess about with ’em.’
‘Oh,’ Bobby said vaguely. ‘Sorry. I thought they ought to be alphabetical by author.’
He turned sharply as she drummed her fingers on the desk. ‘And can you give over that racket?’
Bobby stopped at once. She hadn’t even noticed she’d been doing it.
‘Sorry,’ she said again.
Reg sat back down with his book. ‘Look, lass, you might as well go home,’ he said in a softer voice. ‘You’re getting nowhere fast sitting there fretting. Get your old man’s tea ready and have a think about how you’ll break your news.’
Bobby sighed. ‘Yes. I do need to tell him, don’t I?’
‘Don’t see how you can get round it when you’ve only two days while your medical. Mind, be sure he knows it’s not a sure thing. I reckon this hardship committee’s bound to see it your way when you explain that he’s… not always himself.’
‘Do you really think so?’
‘They’re folk like any others, aren’t they? They’ll not be harsh for the sake of it.’ He met her eye. ‘And be sure you tell them everything when you fill in your form. I can see why you’d want to be sparing with what concerns your dad, but they need to know the true state of affairs.’
‘I don’t know, Reg. The war comes first – that’s what they’ll be thinking. People are making so many sacrifices. Saying goodbye to loved ones – perhaps even forever. What right do I have to plead I’m a special case?’ She rubbed her face. ‘I’m not even sure applying for postponement is the right thing to do.’
‘Well, that’s for you to decide.’
She looked up at him. ‘You fought in a war. Do you think I’m shirking?’
‘I did fight in a war, same as your old man. And when I hear him screaming of a night, I know full well why any bairn of his would rather owt than leave him trapped there in his head,’ Reg said firmly. ‘Seems to me Rob did his duty enough for the pair of you.’
Bobby coloured, dropping eye contact. She knew her father’s nightmares were common knowledge for the folk at the neighbouring farmhouse – there was only so much privacy you could expect when the residences were practically door to door – but it was uncomfortable to hear them talked of. He’d be so humiliated if he knew.
‘Oh, don’t worry,’ Reg said gently, reading the feeling in her face. ‘He’ll never hear it from us. Now get yoursen home, and try not to worry, eh?’ He summoned a smile. ‘Icy out there. If you’re lucky, happen you might break summat before your medical.’
Bobby gave a wan smile in return. Reg didn’t joke often, and it was kind of him to try to lift her spirits, but she didn’t quite have a laugh in her that afternoon.
‘Thanks, Reg,’ she said. ‘I’ll be better tomorrow, and write that piece on the Swaledale silver mines. It was a shock, that’s all.’
‘Mind you are, and be here all the earlier for your half hour off. Bad enough I’ve to spare you a day for this medical.’
Bobby stepped over the grey, hairy mass of Barney and Winnie – Reg’s aged wolfhounds, who were snoozing on the carpet – and went to the parlour door. Something made her stop and turn back, however. Reg was already bent over his work again.
‘Reg?’
‘Mmm?’
‘If I did have to go… what would happen here?’
‘Oh, we’d muddle along as best we could,’ he said vaguely, his blue pencil skittering over a page of copy. ‘Mary’d miss your help in the kitchen, no doubt, and the bairns would sob fit to burst. Happen I might even be sorry to say goodbye to you missen. Still, I’m sure we’d bear up. War won’t last forever, and you and our Charlie will be back.’
Something about this speech made Bobby smile. For so long, Reg had seen her as just his townie girl reporter. Now, he barely seemed to question that she belonged here. Of course she’d be coming back, his tone seemed to say. Where else would she go?
‘That wasn’t what I meant,’ she said. ‘I mean, what would happen to my job?’
