She sighed. ‘It hurt me a lot when I thought you didn’t care, Charlie.’
‘I’m sorry. I was so deep in the hole, I couldn’t think of any pain but mine. That was wrong. But if you knew, Bobby, how empty everything felt to me after the crash…’ His face crumpled with pain. ‘How I felt I’d rather be dead than have you know what had happened to me…’
‘I do understand,’ she said, taking his hand. ‘I do. But please, don’t ever shut me out like that.’
‘You forgive me?’
‘I suppose I have to, don’t I? If I’m going to be your wife.’
He smiled and kissed her forehead. ‘Like I said, there’s no need to make a rushed decision about it. Take as much time as you need, OK? When you’ve made your choice, I’ll be right here.’
Chapter 43
The matron was waiting for them back at the hospital, looking stern. She proceeded to give both Topsy and Charlie a dressing down on the subject of smuggling in lovers on the pretence of showing them door plaques. Charlie flashed Bobby something like his old schoolboy grin while he was being told off, and she smiled back.
For the first time since leaving for the WAAF, she felt a lightness of heart. Charlie was here, and he loved her, still. Yes, there was pain alongside the joy. He was injured in a way that was going to affect both their lives, in his mind as well as his body. Bobby could sense the mental anguish that came from feeling as though everything that made him a man had been stripped from him. No doubt many challenges lay ahead that were undreamed of in the days before the war had touched their lives. Still, he was hers. They would make it all right, somehow, the two of them.
Topsy escorted her from the hospital and walked with her as far as the path.
‘Did he tell you about his injuries?’ she asked.
Bobby nodded. ‘He was embarrassed to give details, but I gathered he’d been hurt in the groin. That he won’t be able to… that married life might look a little different than we’d expected.’
‘And you’re going ahead, still?’
‘He wanted me to take time to think about it, but I don’t need to. I love him, Topsy. Of course I’m going ahead.’
Topsy beamed at her. ‘Oh, you are the most heavenly creature. I knew you would. I felt guilty going behind his back, but I couldn’t let that foolish boy grieve his life away knowing you hadn’t the faintest idea he was here and wounded. It remindedme of how close Teddy and I came to losing each other, all for his silly man’s stubbornness.’
‘Has Charlie been dreadfully depressed?’ Bobby asked quietly.
Topsy bowed her head. ‘Very much so. He refused to let me speak with his family, even though the RAF sent him here to convalesce so he could be close to them. I felt entirely helpless trying to cope with his moods. Honestly, I’d started to be really afraid for him, he seemed so low. That was why I confided in Ernie. I knew he could get you here, and you’d be able to help Charlie better than anyone else.’
Bobby smiled at her. ‘You’re an angel to help.’
‘You did the same for me, once,’ Topsy said shyly. ‘I had better go back to work. You’ll want to see your family. Perhaps you oughtn’t to say anything to the Athertons about Charlie though. I think he’ll want to write to Reg and Mary himself, now he’s seen you.’
‘Yes, you’re right. But it doesn’t matter, I’m not going home. I’m going straight back to Ryland Moor.’
Topsy frowned. ‘I thought you were going to visit your father and sister.’
‘Not today.’ Bobby took her arm. ‘Topsy, I need your help. If I write some notes and leave them at the cottage, can you make sure they’re delivered to the people they’re addressed to just as soon as everyone at Moorside knows what the state of affairs is here?’
Topsy blinked. ‘Well, yes, of course. What are they for?’
‘There’ll be one for you too. Everything will be explained.’
‘Any message for Charlie?’
‘No, but there is one thing you can do for me at the hospital.’
‘What is it?’
‘Just tell me this – is there an RAF chaplain on site?’
Bobby bumped into Carol back at camp, walking between the Waafery recreation hut and the ablutions block.
‘Bobsy,’ she said in surprise. ‘I thought you weren’t coming back until this evening.’
