Of course this immediately brought on the familiar feeling of guilt about the pleasure she had got from writing, losing herself in it to the exclusion of thoughts of her child.
‘Really, you’re not worrying about anything today?’ Charlie said. ‘Are you sure you’re my wife?’
‘Well, I never said I wasn’t worrying about anything.’
‘Go on, what is it this time?’
Bobby turned to face him. ‘Charlie, do you think I’ll be a good mam?’
‘If I didn’t, I’d hardly allow you to carry my baby. I don’t think you’ve ever thanked me for that, by the way.’
She smiled. ‘You’re all heart. I mean it though. Do you think I will?’
‘Don’t be daft. You’ll be the best mam there is. Why, do you think you might have suppressed Fagin tendencies and set Marmaduke to work stealing hankies as soon as he can walk?’
‘It’s something your brother said to me, I suppose. About how I could never be a good mother while I had my mind on work.’
Charlie frowned. ‘Reggie didn’t say that, did he?’
‘Not exactly, but that’s what my brain filed away. I worry that because I do want to do things other than be a mother, it means I won’t be able to do it well.’ She looked up at him. ‘But I do need more, Charlie, the same way you do. That isn’t wrong, is it?’
‘Of course it isn’t. Reggie’s talking out of his hat. Didn’t you tell me your mam worked in the mills nearly all your childhood?’
‘That’s right, and took in washing when she wasn’t able to. A lot of mothers down our way worked after having families. They had to.’
‘So she must’ve been a bad mother then.’
‘She was not,’ Bobby said, glaring at him. ‘I’d never have been the person I am without my mam to tell me I could makesomething of myself. She was an incredible woman. The best mother there was.’
‘And so is her daughter an incredible woman who’ll be the best mother there is. I don’t know why you listen to Reggie’s Victorian nonsense when you’ve got your own mother to inspire you.’
Bobby smiled. ‘All right, clever clogs. That was a devious way to make a point, getting me all cross.’
‘But it worked, and now you’re smiling again.’
She gave him a kiss and turned to stir her stew.
‘What’s brought on the good mood then?’ Charlie asked, resting his chin on her shoulder.
Bobby wished she could confide in him about the story she had written. She would love to have him read it, but she was still determined to keep her writing endeavours secret until the time felt right. She wanted to see if she would have any success submitting toThe Girl’s Ownbefore she said anything.
‘Going out shopping, I suppose,’ she said, grimacing slightly at the fib. ‘Not that there’s much fun in queuing forever and eternally, but I do get sick of being in the house.’
‘You should ask Mary or your sister to pick up our rations now you’re seven months gone. The doctor says you oughtn’t to be on your feet too much. And suppose Marmaduke decides to arrive early and you give birth in the middle of the grocer’s?’
‘Please, Charlie, don’t take this away from me. It’s the only freedom I still have. I swear I’m about to start talking to the faces in the wallpaper, stuck indoors constantly.’
‘What faces in the wallpaper?’
‘Exactly.’ Bobby sighed. ‘It was lovely seeing all the spring flowers starting to appear. I wish I could get out more to enjoy them.’
‘I wonder when we can go up into the fells again,’ Charlie said dreamily. ‘Every time I see Dick Minchin, I ask if he thinks myleg’s recovered enough to do a little modest hiking. I hardly need to use my stick any more. But it’s always “Soon, Charlie, soon.”’
‘I doubt I’m going to be able to make it to the peak of Great Bowside for a while yet,’ Bobby said, putting her hands over his on her stomach. ‘I’m surprised you can still wrap your arms around me.’
He turned her around to kiss her. ‘You’re beautiful.’
‘I’m huge.’
