‘Violet… Charlie’s mam?’
‘Yes, she was another such. Some women aren’t made to be mothers, Bobby.’
‘It was lucky he had you,’ Bobby said softly.
‘Lucky for both of us. I often wonder whether I’d have been able to pull myself out of the darkness after we lost Nancy, if there hadn’t been another little one who needed me.’ She glanced at Bobby. ‘Jess and Florrie have christened your sister with a new title, I see.’
Bobby flinched. ‘Yes. I’m sorry, Mary.’
‘What for? It’s good there’s a younger woman they feel is family to them.’ She pursed her lips again. ‘They’ll need it if their father decides to make an honest woman of that Miss Simpson.’
‘You don’t mind? I thought you might be hurt.’
‘Why would I be?’
‘Well, that they asked Lil and…’ Bobby hesitated, feeling awkward. ‘…and not you.’
It did seem strange that Mary had never earned any title from the pair. They had bestowed an ‘Uncle’ on Charlie almost as soon as they had arrived, warming instantly to the fun-loving, carefree young man he had been then, who made up games for them and went out of his way to help them settle into their new home. Everyone else, however, had remained as they were whenthey had first been introduced. Bobby had never felt hurt by it – she was sure the children saw her as more of a big sister than anything, since she had never been responsible for their care – but she had been certain Mary would be upset at such a favour being conferred on Lil when it was Mary who had been mother to them for nearly two years now.
‘Are you really not hurt they didn’t ask you?’ Bobby asked.
Mary smiled a little sadly. ‘Well, and who says they didn’t?’
‘You mean they did?’
‘Aye, they asked. It were just after last Christmas that Jessie came to tell me she and her sister wanted to call me summat else, if I’d let them.’
‘Then why, um…’
‘Because I told them no is why.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘It wasn’t “Aunty” they wanted to call me.’ Mary sighed. ‘It was “Ma”.’
‘Oh. Oh!’ Bobby stared at her. ‘Goodness.’
‘Well, I had to say no. Not saying it didn’t cost me a tear to do it, mind.’
‘I never knew they’d asked you that.’
‘Aye, well, you had your own worries. I didn’t like to trouble you.’ Mary fell into a thoughtful silence before speaking again. ‘I told them I thought their dad wouldn’t like it, because they’d a mam in heaven and he wouldn’t want a stranger acting like they were taking her place. They saw the sense in that. I suppose I had in my head as well that they’d be taken away from me one day, so I oughtn’t to let them get too attached. But it wasn’t only that.’
‘It was Nancy,’ Bobby said softly. ‘Wasn’t it?’
Mary nodded. ‘And not the first time I’d had that conversation. Your Charlie asked me the same thing at Jess’s age, and I’d to give him the same answer.’ She swallowed. ‘I often wonder if that was wrong of me. Lord knows he neededa mother, poor lamb. But when you’ve lost a little one who was the only one ever to use that name, it can feel like… a betrayal, I suppose. Like I was trying to fill her place with other women’s childer.’
‘Oh, Mary.’ Bobby felt tears welling and pressed her friend’s hand tightly.
‘You understand?’
‘Of course. Grief is never simple, is it? And Charlie feels you’re just as much his mother no matter what he calls you. A name’s just a name, but family is in how we feel.’
‘You’re wise beyond your years, Bobby,’ Mary said, smiling.
Bobby smiled too. ‘Well, I’m certainly starting to feel every one of my years. Let’s go in, shall we?’ They had reached the house and were lingering by the back door.
‘We should. If you’ve a cold coming, hanging about in the snow won’t help.’ Mary gave Bobby’s arm a squeeze. ‘But I want you and Charlie to know that there’s one name I’d love to be known by, and that’s Nana. If it was what you pair wanted.’
