‘I used to.’ She laughed bleakly. ‘He tries to make me feel better, bless him. It’s absurd really.’
‘What is?’
‘The way he acts like he can fix it with words. He reminds me that we ought to be grateful to have Annie, that I’m lucky to be alive, that there’ll be other babies.’ Lil turned wet eyes to her twin. ‘But I don’t want to feel better, Bob,’ she whispered. ‘That’s what I can’t make Tony understand. I don’t want him to fix it. I want him to share it.’
‘It’s harder for men. Dealing with feelings and things.’
‘I know. Tony does his best. And I know he loves me, although I often wonder why. We’re so little alike.’
Bobby had wondered this herself. Tony had long admired her twin, and that was natural. Many men back in Bradford had sighed over pretty, vivacious Lilian Bancroft. But Bobby hadn’t realised the depth of Tony’s feelings for his wife until the night Lilian had nearly died in childbirth, when Bobby had overheard Tony’s desperate prayer that God would take him instead.
Yet it was true the pair had little in common and struggled to relate to one another. Perhaps it was Lilian’s need for Tony, her vulnerable state when she had found herself carrying his baby, that had inspired his fondness. He had always had a weakness for a damsel in distress. All Bobby knew was that she had seen Tony in love a handful of times since they had known one another, but she had never seen him display the tenderness he showed to Lilian.
‘I wish you’d come to me when you can’t sleep, Lil,’ Bobby said. ‘I’ll always be there to listen, about tinned pilchards or anything else.’
‘I wouldn’t wake you for my trivial mitherings. You’ve got Marmaduke to think about.’ Lilian forced a smile. ‘Anyhow, never mind me. Did the doctor give my niece or nephew a good report at your last appointment?’
Bobby glanced warily around. They were still some distance from Moorside Farm and the converted barn known as Cow House Cottage, where Lilian lived with Tony and her father. However, they weren’t far from the place George Parry shared with his daughters, Florrie and Jess. The two Londoners had been evacuated to Silverdale after losing their home in the Blitz. They had formed a strong bond with Mary and Reg Atherton, their hosts, which had persuaded Captain Parry to make a home here when he had been medically discharged from the army. Now, Athertons, Parries and Scotts felt almost like one big family.
‘Not so loud,’ Bobby murmured to Lilian. ‘I don’t want any rumours to get back to Reg. With Charlie out of a job, I need to stay in work as long as I can.’
Lilian lowered her voice. ‘Would Reg really lay you off right away? It is his brother’s baby.’
‘I have a horrible idea he’d try to give us money,’ Bobby said, pulling a face. ‘I’d rather earn my keep while I can.’
‘How long do you think you can get away with it? Reg is one thing, but there isn’t much gets by Mary.’
Bobby felt a twinge of guilt that she hadn’t yet shared her news with her good friend – Lilian was the only person she had confided the secret to. There were twenty years between half-brothers Reg and Charlie, and Mary had raised her brother-in-law as a son after the death of his mother. She would be thrilled to learn she was to be a grandmother, in spirit if not in blood. But while Bobby trusted Mary with a secret, it didn’t feel right asking her to conceal one so significant from her husband.
‘Mary wouldn’t tell tales on me,’ Bobby said. ‘I’m hoping it’ll be at least another month until I need to confess to Reg. Maybe two, if I adjust my clothes cleverly. I’m barely showing yet.’
‘Oh, but you’ll feel rotten traipsing about getting stories when you’re six months gone.’ Lilian looked appalled at the idea. ‘I don’t understand why Charlie can’t just reopen his practice.’
‘It isn’t that simple.’
‘Why not?’ They had reached the packhorse bridge now, and Lilian glanced at the cow house in the distance. ‘His surgery’s been kept as it was before he went to war. Tony, Dad and I can work around him if he needs it again.’
In civilian life, Cow House Cottage had been Charlie’s bachelor residence, and he had run his veterinary surgery from a more modern extension. However, he had arranged for his practice to be absorbed by the one in the nearby village ofSmeltham when he had left for the RAF, and since then the surgery had sat unused.
‘Charlie couldn’t start practising again just like that,’ Bobby said. ‘He made an arrangement with the Smeltham vet, Bill Lawrence, when he moved away eighteen months ago. Bill extended his premises and took on a couple of lads to cover the work. It wouldn’t be very fair to expect him to just hand back all Charlie’s former customers after laying out all that expense. And… well, things are different for Charlie now.’
‘Because of his injuries?’
Bobby nodded soberly. ‘With just his bad leg he could still practice, but his arm… I hadn’t realised until I moved to the countryside howstrongvets need to be. Battling huge brawny bulls to get them vaccinated, and the way Charlie describes birthing a calf, it sounds more like a wrestling match than a delivery.’
‘Won’t his arm ever heal?’
‘Not entirely. There’s been a lot of nerve damage. It’s always going to be weaker than it was.’
‘Well, then couldn’t he tend the smaller animals and leave the big ones for the stronger men? A terrier can’t put up much of a fight.’
‘His specialism is large animals. Maybe he could retrain, but…’ Bobby paused. She didn’t like talking about this, knowing it humiliated Charlie. But she and Lilian had shared care of their father from childhood, and she knew her sister would understand. ‘It isn’t just the weakness in his arm,’ she said in a low voice. ‘He shakes, now. His hands tremble constantly, even when he’s calm.’
‘Yes, I’ve noticed,’ Lil said quietly. ‘His nerves, I suppose, like Dad. Will he always?’
‘Dad does, doesn’t he? You can’t be a fumble-fingered vet, Lil.’
‘I guess not.’
