Wade stared at her in silent shock.Obviously, she was telling the truth, and it floored him.“I didn’t know.”
Her eyes softened.“Of course you didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Would it have made a difference?”
Wade wrestled with the question.She was asking if he would have chosen to live with her after the divorce, had he known what kind of man his father was.He didn’t want to answer, because he wasn’t sure he would have.There were many types of abuse, and his father hadn’t laid a hand on him.Her neglect, however, had made a deep impact.
“Why did you marry him?”he asked.
She sank into a kitchen chair with her cocktail.“I was eighteen and pregnant with you.My choices were limited.”
“You weren’t planning to go to college?”
“No.I was never good at school.”
“Like Billy?”
She paused to consider.“We both had attention issues.He was disruptive.I daydreamed.”
Wade hung up his hat and sat down across from her.His mind circled around the issue of capable parenting.“Do you remember when I broke my arm?”
“Yes.”
“I fell off my bike doing some stupid stunt in the street.Mike made a sling out of his shirt for me and walked me home.”
Her lips formed a sad smile at the mention of Mike.
“When we got there, Dad was still at work.You were inside with Billy.I sat down on the front porch and waited over an hour for Dad to come home.I didn’t trust you to drive me to the hospital.”
The sad smile turned into a thin, hard line.She drank her cocktail with a defiant slosh of liquid and ice.
“I’m sorry I chose to live with Dad instead of you,” he said.“I was just a kid.I needed a reliable parent.”
“You never respected me.”
“I was ten years old, Mom.”
“He poisoned you against me.”
Wade raked a hand through his hair.“I’m not on his side anymore.I’m here because I want you in my life.”
She gripped her tumbler with a white-knuckled hand.Her hands showed her age more than her face.
“You don’t want me in your life,” she said.“You want me to stop embarrassing you with my messy problems.You want to say you tried to save me so you can feel like a hero before you walk away.”
Wade felt his jaw harden.She wasn’t wrong.He wasn’t planning to stay in Lost Lake, and he did want her to clean up her act.“You could try a treatment program,” he said anyway.“Start therapy and talk to someone about Billy.”
“Talk to someone about Billy?”she repeated, incredulous.“You won’t even talk to me about Billy!”
Wade didn’t argue this point.
“Why don’t you tell me what really happened?”
He glanced away, his stomach roiling.He couldn’t go there with her.She was too fragile, too volatile.It was better to pretend the shooting had been an accident.Wade would never forgive his father for what he’d done, but neither would he spill the secret.Knowing the truth would only hurt his mother more.
Headlights appeared in the driveway.The vehicle belonged to his mother’s best friend, Patty Gonzales.
