“Let’s be honest about the family dynamic, Mom.The good times were few and far between.Everyone hated each other.You and Dad, me and Billy.I didn’t create the dysfunction, but I had to live with it.I had to pick a side.Surely you understand that.”
“You picked the side of the abuser, because he was strong.Like you.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?”
“I’m not like him,” Wade said in a low voice.
“You’re a police officer.You literally followed in his footsteps.”
“Should I have followed in yours, like Billy did?”
She drew back her arm and slapped him then.The blow to his left cheek landed with a stinging crack.It might have hurt her more than it hurt him, however.
Her eyes filled with tears.“I’m sorry.”
Wade didn’t forgive her.He couldn’t drum up a single sympathetic feeling.“Let’s talk about why I chose Dad over you.He was the more reliable parent, and he was strong, but that wasn’t the reason.For all his faults, he actually loved me.You didn’t.”
She shook her head in denial.
“Kids reflect what they see and give what they’re given.I didn’t have any love to give Billy, because you never loved me.You still don’t.Whenever I surprise you in an unguarded moment, you look at me like I’m some kind of monster.”
She slumped into a nearby chair, as if her legs would no longer hold her upright.She was clearly in anguish, and he was still reeling with shock.She’d never struck him before.He wished he’d never started this conversation.Instead of continuing it, and causing them both more pain, he left the kitchen.
Meredith wasn’t in the garden.She was near the barn, with Daisy, hugging the dog’s furry head to her chest.When she saw him, she rose to her feet and dusted off her knees.He went inside the barn, and she accompanied him.
“You talked to your mother about Billy,” she said.
“Yes.”
“How did it go?”
“It went great,” he said, slamming the barn door.“She accused me of murder and slapped me.”
Meredith came forward and wrapped her arms around him.He accepted the gesture stiffly.His gut roiled with tension, and he didn’t want his negative emotions to bleed onto her.She massaged his bunched shoulder muscles, undeterred.
“She didn’t mean it,” Meredith said.
“I think she did.”
“Give her time.”
He pulled away from her and grabbed a bottle of water from the minifridge.His throat was dry, his pulse racing.Between the sleepless night, the long day at work, and the terrible confrontation with his mother, he felt like he’d been put through the wringer.
Meredith approached him again, her expression concerned.She lifted a hand to touch the left side of his face.Although there was no pain, there must have been a mark.
Wade set the water aside, his mood shifting.Her touch reminded him of the pleasures they’d shared yesterday.He didn’t know how to fix the broken relationship with his mother, but he knew how to find comfort in Meredith.She was a balm to his soul, the remedy for everything that ailed him.She was warmth and tenderness personified.
He slid his arms around her, pulling her closer.He could feel her heartbeat against his.He could feel her flat belly and soft breasts.Emotions he couldn’t express swelled within him, along with raw arousal.He found solace in the physical, as always.He reached for it like a lifeline.Mindless, strenuous action would soothe him.She threaded her hands through his hair, accepting him.Wanting him, just the way he was.
“I can’t go slow,” he said.
“Then don’t,” she said simply.
He lowered his mouth to hers.She parted her lips on a sigh.He tried to be soft, gentle, kissing her in tender strokes.That lasted about twenty seconds.Her tongue twined around his, and the dam broke inside him.He growled and lifted her against the nearest hard surface, which happened to be the worktable.A wooden crate fell to the floor.
The crashing sound matched what he was feeling.He leaned into it, letting go of control.She kissed him back with the same urgency.They were both hot and hungry, instantly wild for each other.She wrapped her legs around his waist.He thrust against her, rocking the table.Something else toppled off with a satisfying smash.
