She must be sleeping just as badly as I am.
I approach her quietly so as not to disturb her, but she stirs anyway.
A sleepy smile curves her lips when she sees me, and guilt stabs at me.
The day has kept me away from her, and for what? I’m no closer to finding Cormac, and it seems Riley is the one paying the price for my lack of progress. She’s been pulling further and further away from me, and I don’t blame her.
Every meal we try to share, she ends up eating alone. Every night she stays up waiting for me to come home, sleep gets to her before I do. At some point, enough is going to be enough.
But maybe tonight I can remind her that despite my actions and lack of attention over the past few days, she is still my number one priority.
“Hey.” I lean down to lift her legs gently.
She sighs, still half-asleep, and I slide in next to her, pulling her onto my lap and holding her against me.
She buries her face in my chest. “You’ve been gone all day. I almost forgot what you looked like.”
I press a kiss to her temple. “I feel bad. Neglecting you like this… it’s not right.”
“It’s fine,” she mumbles, though I can hear in her voice it’s anything but fine.
“What’s wrong, Riley? Talk to me.” I brush a strand of hair behind her ear before grazing my fingers along her cheek.
She pulls back and looks up at me with such defeat in her eyes, it feels as if she just reached inside my chest and pulled my heart out.
“I’m just…going stir crazy.” She fiddles with a button on my shirt. “Being stuck in the house, under lockdown, it’s driving me insane.”
I pull her closer, encasing her in my arms. “It won’t be forever. Isn’t there some reading or college prep you can do to take your mind off things?”
My suggestion only seems to make Riley’s shoulders sag even more.
“I’ve done it all.”
I fight a smile. “Of course, you have. I didn’t realize I married such a nerd.”
Riley’s lips twitch, but she doesn’t give me a full smile.
“You do know why I’m doing this, right? It’s because I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you.”
“I know. And most of the time, I’m okay with it. But lately, everything’s just been too much.”
The unspoken fears and frustration come through in her words, and it makes my chest ache.
This wasn’t the life I promised her. She doesn’t deserve to be cooped up day in and day out because of my lack of progress with Sean and Cormac.
“You’re allowed to feel frustrated, God knows I do.” I sigh. “What can I do to make it easier for you, little dove?”
Riley lets out a sigh as she rests her head against my chest, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Can I…go out tomorrow?”
“Riley—”
“Just for a short while. I want to see Oscar.”
“I can’t?—”
“It’s just to talk.” She pulls away so she can look me in the eye. “Please.”
