My chest tightens to the point of pain.
God, I want nothing more than to be submerged in a bubble bath while wrapped up in Kieran’s arms. But the moment I look up into his tired eyes, the guilt surges through me so hard that it hurts to breathe.
“I don’t feel like it tonight.” I lower my gaze to my lap.
But Kieran takes my chin in his hand and forces my head up so I can’t avoid his gaze.
“Riley.” His voice is soft but insistent. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”
I fight to hold eye contact. “I told you. I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“Are you sure that’s all? Because you know you can tell me anything, right?”
My lower lip trembles as my eyes sting with fresh tears.
He’s not going to let this go unless I give him some kind of answer.
“I-I’m just worried about my safety, that’s all,” I lie.
Kieran’s eyes soften as he gently strokes his fingers along my jaw.
“Listen to me. I’ll keep you safe, but you also have to meet me halfway. No more unnecessary trips out of the house, okay? If Ciara needs anything else delivered to the doctor, I can do it.”
Crap. If he’s putting his foot down about running an errand, there’s no way he’s going to let me out to visit with Oscar for a few hours.
“I know. But being stuck in this house all day…it’s suffocating. Getting to leave on that errand today did wonders for me. It made me feel like I had a normal life for a while.”
Kieran frowns, but I can tell he’s not ready to give in yet.
I shake my head. “This house might represent safety, but to me, it’s a cage.”
“I’d rather you feel trapped than have to bury you.”
I flinch at his words. “Kieran?—”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, even if you hate me for it.”
“I could never hate you. You’re everything to me, Kieran.”
“And you’re everything to me too, little dove. Which is why I have to keep you safe.”
“I know.”
“Well, I’ll let you relax. But don’t shut me out, okay?”
“Yeah. I know.”
He has no idea how badly I want to tell him everything, how much I need him to take this burden from me, but I can’t. Not yet.
Kieran presses another kiss to my temple before getting to his feet.
“I’ll let you rest. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”
I nod, keeping my eyes fixed on my lap until his footsteps retreat upstairs. Only then do I let the tears fall.
It’s past midnight by the time I force myself upstairs to bed.
Kieran is lying on his back with one arm folded behind his head and the other resting on his chest as he sleeps.
