Hadto go out of town just for the day. I’ll make it up to you when I get home. Promise.
– K
My eyes stayon the note for a long time.
I’m sure Kieran meant for it to be comforting, but this is just another reminder that I’m not enough to anchor him here.
I’m not happy he’s gone, far from it, but there’s a flicker of relief hidden underneath the disappointment. At least with him away, I don’t have to be consumed by guilt. I can have a whole day where I don’t have to look at him and wonder if he’ll hate me when he finds out about the baby, and that makes me breathe a little easier.
I drag myself into the shower and throw on a tennis skirt and a tank top before heading downstairs to make a coffee.
The morning light streams through the French windows, making the marble countertops glisten.
I start working on the coffee machine, making sure to savor the ritual now that I have to cut down to one cup a day.
God, I miss the days when I could down three or four cups without a second thought. Cutting down to one has been the hardest part of this pregnancy so far. But that might be because I’ve just come off the back of college finals where I practically needed to inject the caffeine right into my veins just to get through the day.
While the coffee brews, I grab a mug and prepare some ginger tea for Ciara, making sure to add a heaping spoonful of honey to sweeten it.
I’ve barely set the drinks on a tray when Ronan strides into the kitchen, barefoot and shirtless, with his dark hair sticking up like he just rolled out of bed.
I still find it strange seeing Ronan look so domesticated. I’m used to the version of him that doesn’t even have to open his mouth to make men crumble. And just because he’s swapped his crisp black suit for a pair of sweatpants doesn’t mean I would want to get on the wrong side of him.
He eyes the mugs. “Is one of those for Ciara?”
“Yeah. I figured she could use it.”
He winces, scrubbing a hand over his face. “I’d be careful if I were you. She’s on the warpath today. Apparently, I don’t know what it’s like to be nine months pregnant with twins, and everything I say is the wrong thing.”
Despite myself, I laugh.
“Well, she’s not wrong on the first part.”
He shoots me a dry look, but his lips twitch. “Thanks for the sympathy.”
“Anytime.” I grin. “Don’t worry, I have something planned for today that will help to take her mind off the fact she’s about to push two watermelons out of her body.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Well, I was thinking we could have a girls’ day. I thought we could have her friend Mila come over and my friend Lucy and hang out by the pool. Only if you’re okay with that,” I add, realizing I didn’t consider the security measures that will need to be in place to get the girls here.
“I’m okay with whatever makes Ciara happy.” Ronan grabs a mug out of the cabinet and sets it on the coffee machine. “Do whatever you have to do, Riley.”
“I’m starting to think that you might actually be a little bit scared of your wife.” I laugh.
“Honestly? Right now, she terrifies me.”
I’m still chuckling under my breath as I carry the tray upstairs and nudge open Ciara’s door with my foot.
She’s propped up in the enormous bed by a fortress of pillows, watching some reality show on her tablet.
“Morning. I come bearing tea.”
She scowls, adjusting the messy bun on top of her head. “Better make it strong. The twins kicked me in the ribs all night long.”
“It’s got extra honey and a secret ingredient.”
Her brows lift. “What’s that?”
