I let myself believe that she would be different and that it wouldn’t be a mistake letting myself get close to her.
If she could lie about being pregnant, what else has she lied about?
As the whisky burns my throat, I make myself a promise that whatever happens next, I’ll make damn sure that I am never going to let someone get close enough to betray me like this ever again.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
RILEY
I didn’t knowit was possible to feel such happiness and grief at the same time. Both emotions are so delicately entwined that it’s hard to know where one stops and the other begins.
My baby is going to be all right; it’s going to survive. But I can’t say the same for my relationship with Kieran.
There is no us.
I shouldn’t be surprised by his reaction, and yet I thought hearing our baby’s heartbeat would somehow soften the blow of my betrayal. I was wrong.
I sit beside Jace in the back of the SUV on the drive back to Washington Heights. I half expect a lecture from him, as I have no doubt Kieran is just as pissed with him as he is with me.
But Jace stays quiet, and so do Leo and Wesley.
My phone buzzes nonstop with incoming messages, but when I see nothing but my brother’s name on the screen, I decide to shut my phone off.
Oscar is going to be pissed that I dragged him into this mess with Kieran, but I don’t have the energy to deal with him right now. Instead, I’m going to do what I do best and bury my head in the sand until this blows over.
The house is quiet when I finally get home from the clinic, and the emptiness hits me harder than I expected.
I drop my bag by the door and take a slow, shaky breath.
Everything Kieran said outside the clinic, the way he looked at me… It keeps replaying in my mind like some sick montage.
There is no us. You made sure of that.
I choke back a sob, but the sound of footsteps in the kitchen has me quickly retreating to my bedroom and locking the door behind me. I can’t face Ciara or Elena right now because I know they would only offer me kind words, which, quite frankly, I don’t deserve.
Ciara warned me not to keep the baby a secret from Kieran, and I did it anyway. Now I have to face the consequences, even if it feels like those consequences might actually kill me.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I bury my face in my hands.
I can’t stop thinking about the way Kieran looked at me when he realized I was pregnant.
The man I was falling in love with vanished in an instant, replaced by the Kieran I know he pretends to be—cold, controlled, and completely untouchable.
I don’t know how long I sit there on the edge of the bed, staring into space as I start to succumb to the grief in my heart. It must be hours because, at some point, the sky outside the window grows dark, and I make my way under the covers, but sleep doesn’t come.
Every creak of the floorboards has me bolting upright in bed, wondering if Kieran has decided to come home.
But then the silence returns, and so does the pain in my chest.
I toss and turn for hours until finally, I glance at the clock and groan.
It’s just before five in the morning.
Clearly, sleep is a lost cause, so I swing my legs over the side of the bed and pad into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face.
My reflection looks pale and exhausted, with my eyes puffy and bloodshot from hours of crying. I’m not sure I’ve seen a more pathetic sight, but I have no right to feel sorry for myself. No one made me keep this baby a secret. It was my own choice to do so, and now I have to face the consequences, no matter how painful they might be.
After forcing a brush through my tangled curls and tying my hair back in a braid, I pull on my robe and head downstairs, careful to keep my footsteps light so as not to wake Ciara. The thought of eating makes me feel nauseous, so I settle on making myself a cup of hot chocolate. It’s not exactly a nutritious breakfast, but I’m hoping the baby lets me off just this once.
