Why can’t my brain ruminate on what Ronan said instead? His quiet reassurance when he told Kieran that he can’t know what kind of father he’ll be until he’s faced with it should make me feel better. But I guess I’m just used to bracing myself for the worst after years of having my life explode in my face. I’m not sure that’s something I’ll ever get over any time soon.
I always seem to have something, or rathersomeone, I’m terrified of losing, and now that I’m pregnant, that fear has only multiplied.
Rationally, I know Ronan’s right. Kieran’s words came from a place of fear. And being scared doesn’t mean he wouldn’t step up or that he wouldn’t love a child fiercely once they were here.
But still, his words have planted a doubt in me I can’t seem to shake.
If I tell him now, when he’s already drowning in worry about Cormac and the future of the Sullivan empire, won’t he see my dishonesty as proof of his worst fears?
The faintest tremor of panic has my hand going to where I’ll grow a bump.
Maybe holding onto this secret a little longer is safer, just until things calm down and Kieran doesn’t feel like his world is about to collapse under him.
The door clicks open, and I glance over my shoulder to find Kieran’s broad frame filling the doorway.
His eyes scan the room before landing on me, concern darkening his features. “Hey. I thought you’d be asleep by now. Is everything okay?”
I force a smile that seems to drain the last of my energy.
“Everything’s fine. My brain is just being…loud.”
He studies me for a moment, but then he steps inside the bedroom and closes the door. He comes to sit beside me, the mattress shifting beneath his weight.
Then, as if changing his mind, he moves to curl his body around mine. His arm slides beneath my head as the other snakes around my waist, and I relax against his body. The warmth is steadying, and my eyes start to sting.
I didn’t realize how badly I needed the familiar contact until now.
“You’ve been through a lot.” His lips brush my hair. “This hasn’t been easy on you. But it’ll be over soon, Riley. I promise. I’ll find Cormac, and I’ll put an end to whatever the hell he has planned.”
I nod, nestling closer to him, but my throat burns with words I can’t say. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to promise me the world. All I want is for him to choose me and this child, and the life we could build together.
Instead, I nod. “I still can’t believe it’s Cormac. He always seemed… I don’t know, distant? But I never expected him to betray his own family like this. Do you think he’s being set up or blackmailed?”
“It is hard to believe, but if he were innocent, he would be here right now pleading his case. But the fact is he’s hiding, and that, to me, screams guilt.”
“Maybe.”
He shifts behind me, tugging on my waist so that I roll onto my back.
When I look up into his face, there’s a weariness in his dark eyes that makes my chest ache.
His eyes pierce mine. “I’ll handle it. You don’t need to worry about Cormac. That’s my burden to bear. I just want you to focus on taking care of yourself.”
“I’m trying.”
“Have you eaten?”
“Yeah, I had some pizza with Brennan. We were…bonding.”
Kieran rolls his eyes.
He scoffs. “He’s just trying to get you on his side. Don’t fall for the charm. He’s just as ruthless as the rest of us.”
“Too late.” I grin.
Kieran’s eyes darken in a way that sends a rush of heat straight to my core.
“But I could bond with you too, if you like?”
