“I came to see you,” I murmur. “Now, answer mine.”
Evan’s cheeks redden. “Nothing.”
My chest tightens at his words. “That’s not nothing. You’re kneeling on rice, Evan. Tell me what’s going on.”
“You don’t get to show up and demand answers from me,” he heaves.
“Are you doing this to hurt yourself?”
He doesn’t respond.
“So, that’s a yes.”
“It’s not to hurt myself.”
“Then what?”
“It’s a punishment,” he rasps.
I blink at his words. “Punishment for what?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter,” I hiss. “Talk to me.”
Evan’s eyes blaze in my direction.
“You’ve been ignoring me since I touched you.” I lower my voice.
He presses a hand to his face and releases a sound from the back of his throat. All I hear is pain—festering pain that won’t go away because he’s been keeping whatever it is bottled up to the neck.
“Why?” I whisper.
Evan turns away from me and drags a hand through his hair.
“Just let it out, Evan.”
“Because I have no right to feel that sort of pleasure after what I did to them!”
I flinch at the rawness of his voice. He heaves out breaths, and I don’t interrupt.
“Because I’ve done some awful things in my life, Caleb,” he cries out. “I am a bad person.”
My brows dip. “No, you’re not.”
“I am,” he says through gritted teeth. “I am. I am.”
“Why do you think you’re a bad person?”
Evan chokes out a breath that sounds like he’s dying inside.
“I can’t see you like this,” I confess, my hands trembling at the way he’s deteriorating. “You’re suffering.”
“I letthemsuffer!”
“Who, Evan?”
He turns to me with tears streaming down his face. “Those girls,” he sobs. “All the girls my brother kidnapped, used, and killed. He took Ava, thinking she was his fated mate, and I watched for years as they did unspeakable things to her.”
