I close my eyes in defeat. Great. Another nail in my coffin.
2
EVAN
I’m aching from head to toe when we return to the pack house.
I’m quick to take a much-needed shower. I don’t know how long I stand beneath the water, but it feels like a lifetime, especially when it starts to turn cold.
After getting dressed and heading downstairs, laughter echoes from the kitchen. I peek my head around the door to find Kayden and Kayleigh as he attempts to tickle her, and then retrieve something from her hand. Kayleigh scrunches up her nose, her freckles creasing against her porcelain skin.
Their laughter is nearly infectious, but it only adds to my loneliness. Most people in this house have found their mate. Even though I’m only twenty and some wolves don’t find their mates until a lot later in life, it’s hard to be around when everyone is loved up. But the thought of actually being with someone is equally as terrifying.
How can I expect someone to love me when I don’t even love myself?
I sigh and turn away before running into Ava in the hallway. Aurora, their daughter, is on her hip, and now that she’s approaching two, she’s cuter than ever. Her dark brown hair islong enough to have two little pig tails at the back of her head, and she has the exact same blue eyes as Jaxon.
“Hey.” Ava offers me a quick smile. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I force a smile back.
Her dark brows pinch together as she studies my expression. “You sure?”
“Just sore after our training session,” I confess.
“Oh, you’ll get a good night's sleep tonight. And I know you’ll get the best out of being in Cyrus’s group.”
I hum quietly. “Hope so.”
Ava steps closer as my eyes lower. “Evan, I know something is wrong.”
I suck in a breath and meet her gaze. My fingers entwine as I tug at my knuckles, finding this conversation unnerving.
“Can you be honest with me about something?”
She tilts her head. “I’ll always be honest with you.”
“Will Jaxon kick me out of the pack if I don’t improve in training?”
“Evan—” she whispers. “No. Of course he won’t.”
My hand rolls over my forehead as a headache starts to brew. “Or is he only keeping me here because you’re asking him to?”
“You’re here because you saved my life and you’re my friend,” she states simply. “You’re everyone’s friend. I know Jaxon can be tough, but he’s not going to kick you out. We all see how hard you work.”
I scoff quietly. “Clearly not hard enough.”
“How are your sessions with Kayden going?”
My shoulders raise in a half shrug. “They’re going, but I’m nowhere near the level of the rest of the pack, and I don’t understand why. Do you think it’s got something to do with the fact I can’t heal?”
Ava blinks at me and sucks in a breath. “Maybe.”
I used to be able to heal, but ever since my brother nearly beat me to death, I haven’t been able to. A cut or a bruise would be gone within a few hours for most wolves, but mine stay for days, sometimes weeks.
It’s in our genetics to recover rapidly, but I’m too broken to fix.
“Hey,” she says softly. “We’ll work it out. And don’t worry about Jax. Leave him to me. Alright?”
