It’s your fault.
I clench my eyes shut, trying to push away the voice of my brother.
You let them die.
No. No. No.
I grip my hair to relieve the pain coursing through me, but it doesn’t go away. Itnevergoes away. The sheets are ripped from my legs, and I hurry towards the bathroom and shut the door before hunching over the basin. I grip the edge tightly, watching as my knuckles turn deathly white.
My nightmares aren’t uncommon, and the memories always come flashing back as if they’re trying to haunt me. I can’t get them out, not until I bring myself back to real life.
“Stop,” I sob.
They all died because of you.
“Please stop.” I raise my head to the ceiling. “Let it stop.”
You’re worthless.
Always have been.
Pathetic piece of shit.
Then the girls' screams echo around my head. I press my hands to my ears to block out the noise, but it’s no use. The sound is engraved into me forever.
You didn’t help us, Evan.
You let us die.
Why didn’t you save us?
“No,” I rasp. “I didn’t. I wanted you all to live. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
When I start to hear the sound of Ava’s fearful cries, it sends me into overload. My fist flies towards the mirror as it shatters around me. Blood drips down my knuckles, but I can’t even feel the pain. I’m numb all over.
Tears block my vision.
End it all, Evan.
It’s the only way out.
It’s the only way to set yourself free.
And I want that. I want to be set free.
40
CALEB
The sound of something smashing jolts me awake. I blink through my blurry vision on high alert to find I’m in Evan’s bedroom, with him nowhere to be seen. I glance around frantically before looking over at the bathroom door.
I throw off the covers and hurry towards the noise. “Evan?”
My hand presses down on the handle as I step inside to find horror before me. The mirror is smashed into thousands of pieces. Evan is standing facing the sink with blood dripping down his arm, shaking uncontrollably.
“Fuck,” I exhale. “What have you done?”
When I take another step forward, I notice he’s holding a large shard of the mirror against his throat. Tears are streaming down his face. Everything begins to slow down when I realise what’s going on.
