I’m not pleased when the first person she goes to is Isaac.
Daisy is nowhere to be seen, which is convenient. Now I’m curious about what happened between the two of them.
I keep track of Ivy as she sits with Isaac and a group of people I vaguely recognise. I’m at the beer pong table next to Cal, and on the other side, Finn stands next to Joel. He said he wouldn’tmake an idiot out of himself if Ivy came but he’s already halfway to fucked.
As usual.
I sip on my drink, not wanting to be intoxicated when I finally get to speak to Ivy tonight. It’s been too damn long, and I can’t stand another second of her thinking that I don’t find her attractive, because I do. It’s unhealthy how much the chemicals in my brain alter when I look at her.
After losing three games because Finn is too busted to even throw the ball, I spot Ivy walking towards the drinks table alone, and I excuse myself, saying that I need the toilet. But I make a beeline straight towards her. She’s covered up despite the warm weather, and her wavy blonde hair rests against her shoulders with half of it shoved up and wispy pieces framing her face.
I clear my throat as I approach her. “Are you avoiding me? You said we’d talk.”
Ivy glances up at me as she fixes herself a drink. “No. I’ve been collecting my thoughts.”
“What happened between you and Daisy?” I straighten out my spine, suddenly conscious of the height difference between us.
Her eyes close tightly. “You mean where she came crying to me because you said you didn’t want anything to do with her anymore?”
I feel my brows pinch together painfully. “How is that my fault?”
“Because you decided to have a conversation about me with her.” She turns to me with deep frustration burning in her eyes, and I realise how hurt she really is. “I don’t know why she brought it up, probably because it made her feel good knowing you guys went on a date. It’s not the first time she’s had to make it obvious that I’m never anyone’s first choice.”
Her words ripple something inside my chest. I’ve never heard her speak so freely about her struggles, about how I made her feel. Guilt clouds my mind, and I wish I could go back in time and change how everything played out, but I can’t.
I can only try and fix the future.
“I’m sorry about what I said to her, I didn’t mean it. I was?—”
“Look, JJ, I don’t care.” She folds her arms over her chest, shaking her head as if this situation could just go away.I wish it would.“I don’t care about this anymore. It’s such a mess and it’s exhausting.”
She takes a step away, and alarm bells start ringing in my mind. I have to take control of this situation. I have to say it now, even if the words are barely forming on my tongue. I reach forward and take her wrist in mine, tugging her back gently.
Ivy glances up at me, and as I look at her pretty face, the words fall a lot easier than I thought they would. “Don’t you realise that every time you catch me looking at you, it’s because you are so damn beautiful that I can’t tear my eyes away.”
She blinks once, and her throat bobs, a small sound falling from those lips.
“The night we met, I told you you were gorgeous. And I said it because Imeantit.”
Never in my life has my chest felt so tight and so relieved at the same time. She stands there in surprise, but she doesn’t move, so I take a slow breath and run my finger along the inside of her wrist in soft motions.
Ivy’s lips are now parted, inhaling as much air as she can. Goosebumps run along her skin as I continue to move my finger over her wrist, warmth stretching through me.
I step closer to her, my body towering over hers. “From the second I saw you, Ivy. I—” I pause to admire her all over again. Those big eyes are staring at me with awe, they’re crumbling, and I hope she realises that everything I’m saying is true. “I hadto have you. Even if it was for one night. But I don’t want just one night with you. Ineverwanted just one night.”
My heart pounds against my ribcage. I’ve opened my heart and laid it out for her.
“JJ—”
Listening to her whisper my name makes me shiver. My spine tightens and then relaxes because it doesn’t come from a place of mistrust. She’s trying to wrap her head around this, too.
“I wanted you to stay,” I confess. “I wanted to wake up to you.”
Ivy’s throat bobs. “I didn’t want you to wake up and regret it.”
“That wouldn’t have happened.” I shake my head. “All I regret is not asking for your number that night.”
“I-I didn’t feel good enough for you,” she exhales.
