“I like you,” G-Bets states, her tone matter of fact. “You’ll be good for him, and he’ll give you the stars in the sky like they’re gumdrops, if you let him.”
Helen’s face softens and her eyes glaze over with unshed tears. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Mrs. Wilder. Rhodes has told me so much about you.”
“He lies,” she responds breezily. After gripping her hand, she pats it twice. “And you’ll call me G-Bets just like my Rhodes does.”
Helen bites her lip before blurting, “Why G-Bets and not Grandma or Mimi or something like that? I was curious when Rhodes told me about it but didn’t get the chance to ask.”
“Oh,” my grandmother’s voice is indulgent, “that’s easy. I’m too young to be a grandmother.” She leans closer to Helen, her voice turning conspiratorial, “At least I was.” With a shrug, she adds, “We landed on G-Bets as a play on Grandma Betsy.”
Helen nods slowly before tilting her head slightly. “You are the coolest grandma I’ve ever met.”
G-Bets’s eyes sparkle. “I know, my dear, and I’ve only gotten better with age.”
While my woman giggles, I run a hand down my face and let out a groan. “Please don’t start with that,” I plead.
“I’m not going to apologize about being a woman in my prime,” my grandmother lobs back at me.
All I can do is roll my eyes because I know there is no arguing with the woman. And I don’t really want to keep this conversation going.
I’m already on edge and was in need of some alone time with Helen. The last person I expected to interrupt was my grandmother.
Buthere we are.
Actually, that was my miscalculation. I should have known she would have heard about our public appearance and shown up here.
“Could I,” Helen’s voice is hesitant as she starts before she shakes her head and bites her lip.
My grandmother’s eyebrows furrow together. “What is it, my dear?”
“Could I get another hug?” Helen’s voice is small and I melt a little as I realize why.
She’s talked to me about how hard it was growing up without her mom. How there was always something missing, especially with the stark contrast of her father’s absence.
I understand that feeling of loss, it’s something I live with every day. G-Bets helped a lot with that. And her hugs were a big part of that.
My smile widens and my grandmother basically manhandles my woman into another tight hug.
This time, instead of being uncertain and nervous, Helen gives herself over to the love and acceptance I know G-Bets is offering freely and without conditions. All I can do is lean against the counter and watch my family grow. My heart clenches with the magnitude of it all.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind about my grandmother accepting my woman with open arms. She did the same with me when she could have made a different decision, one that probably would have been easier.
Helen is released slowly and when she looks up at me, her smile is free and unguarded. I see a little bit of the pain which hides in my woman’s eyes ebb.
I’ll make sure that one day she looks at me without pain, without the memories of what everyone else thought she should have been, inthe depth of her gaze. Then she won’t be held back by expectations which should never have been put on her shoulders.
My soul aches for a little girl who only wanted to be loved but knew she had to step up and be more for her family than was fair considering she was a child too.
“When will the great-grandchildren be arriving? I’m not getting any younger, even if I am getting better with age,” G-Bets throws the words out there almost carelessly, but I know her better than that.
Nothing this woman does is careless. Or said only in jest.
That’s not who she is.
I learned to be a straight shooter while hiding behind her skirts and listening to the way she navigated the world. She never made herself smaller to do it. And her loyalty has never been in question.
Working hard and doing your best were hallmarks in my house growing up and I’ve tried to live up to them since long before I really understood the depth of such commitments. But G-Bets wouldn’t have allowed less, even if I never understood the morality of effort.
Helen looks shocked and sputters a few times before I admonish my grandmother gently, “Don’t freak her out. You like her, remember? Why would you want to make her want to run in the other direction.”
