As much as I want to call over to Hickory and talk to the Sheriff over there directly, I’m not about to stick my nose into an investigation that isn’t any of my business. I’ve let them know we’re available to help. Beyond that, I can’t do a damn thing.
I hate it, but what can I do?
The day passes slowly and by the time lunchtime rolls around, I’m on the edge of being desperate to see my woman. I don’t need a lot of time with her; I just need enough to put my mind at ease.
As much as I try to talk myself into ordering some food and eating at my desk, which would be the smart thing to do considering I’ve barely made a dent in the paperwork piled in front of me, there’s no way I can sit still. And there is definitely no fucking way I can keep sitting in this building when I could be heading over to Dogwood Ridge to see Helen.
“Why can’t I go?” I mumble the question to myself and then pause.
It’s a damn good question. When I can’t come up with an answer, I stride out of my office.
“Fuck it,” I mutter, “I’m going to see my woman.”
And that’s exactly what I do. Because I need to see her. And there’s nothing standing in my way.
CHAPTER 16
HELEN
The drudgery that is paperwork has been my companion all day. Well, if you don’t count the people who come through for whatever their county clerk needs are. And there are always needs. Normally, the mindless work is fine, but for some reason today it’s like I can’t sit still.
For some reason, really?
Okay, fine.
I can’t sit still because of Rhodes. Memories of him and all the sweet things he’s managed to pack into the time we’ve spent together are on a permanent loop in my head.
He bought a damn espresso machine for his home along with the syrup he knows I like. He only heard my coffee order once at Uncommon Grounds. Not only did he remember it, but then he took the information and ran with it.
You gotta love a man who takes initiative.
Yes, love.
I’m not entirely sure how he managed it, but somewhere between him showing up randomly in my life and him saving me from myself at the Old Mill, I fell in love with the man.
My body sings as a reminder of the way he can play my body in a way no one else has. That has to be a sign of something good, right? It’s just more proof of the man’s willingness to go out of his way for me.From cooking, to giving me more pleasure than I’ve ever experienced before.
Rhodes Wilder is the epitome of ‘if he wanted to, he would’ and I am here for it. Fuck, I’m more than here for it, I’m pretty sure I’m living for it now.
The only thing I’m really afraid of is losing myself in this whole thing. It would be so easy. To forget about everything else that matters in my life and simply drown myself in everything that is Rhodes, and all the promises he’s made with his touch, his eyes, and his words.
Even today when I went to lunch, I had my head on a swivel. I was looking around everywhere, more than half-way expecting him to pop out of nowhere to surprise me. The fact that I was looking forward to it so much was both thrilling and terrifying.
I don’t want to lose myself in whatever we could be. I also don’t want to hold myself back from something that could be amazing.
Admittedly, I know why I’m hesitant and it’s shaped like Thad in my memories.
In that relationship I definitely lost myself. The worst part was how Thad seemed to encourage it. At the time I couldn’t see how I was isolating myself from the people and things that mattered the most to me. I would make excuses to Jessi about why I couldn’t hang out. There were other friendships I ignored, ones which never recovered, but losing sight of how my sister needed me still makes me feel guilty if I think about it for too long.
Rhodes is nothing like Thad. But if I commit to this thing with Rhodes, it’s going to take me out of Dogwood Ridge.
Jessi might have told me to finally do something for me, to follow my heart, but I refuse to abandon her completely. Not like I did when I was with Thad.
Rhodes isn’t that type of man.
I blow out a breath because I know he isn’t. Still, maybe slowing things down with us would be a good idea. I’m sure there’s already enough gossip moving around town about me and I certainly don’t want to add to it.
I’ve even caught a few whispers around the office. It’s making me antsy because I’ve spent my entire life doing everything possible not to have things whispered about me in town. Yes, the entire reason I avoided it was because of Dad.
