We both freeze as my confession whispers through the space between us. The surprise on her face transforms into something like knowing and vindication.
“I knew it,” she hisses.
When she motions toward me to close the distance, I stoop down slightly. Not enough to be injured if I’m in the line of fire though. I learned that lesson the hard way.
She smacks a kiss on my cheek before smacking the other side of my face softly. “You’re a good man,” she tells me and I try to not tear up. “I look forward to meeting the woman worthy of the pure devotion you are capable of. If she has earned your heart, then she belongs in our family.”
My throat is dry, but I force the question out, “How can you be so sure without meeting her?”
Her eyes sparkle and she chastises me, “Rhodes. You know better than that.” She steps back and winks before heading toward my office door. She throws over her shoulder, “Also you look like a lovesick fool right now. I can’t believe they let you, a man without a poker face, wear a badge.”
Unable to help it, I bark out a laugh, the sound of it following my grandmother, the only mother I’ve ever really known, as she leaves my station. I know she’s right though, and there’s no doubt in my mind that she’ll accept Helen with open arms.
Now I just have to find the time to call her. The only way to put my questions to bed about this Old Mill place is to go and check it out. Fuck the jurisdiction.
CHAPTER 10
HELEN
Okay, I’m ready to admit something that doesn’t come easily to me. I’m currently making a mistake. A big one.
Actually, this is the stupidest thing I have ever done. Sure, I came out to this mill years ago and I know that I’ve hiked close by it before. But the reason I’m slowly circling the mill and working my way closer has everything to do with figuring out if this is where the dog fighting is happening now.
The longer I’m here, the more times I circle the area without seeing anything worthwhile, the more exhausted I’m becoming. This is absolutely the last place I should be.
I’m very fucking aware of my current reality and I’m asking myself questions I should have asked before I put my half-cocked plan into motion and jumped from planning it to executing it. But what can I say? Here I am and there’s not much I can do about it now.
You could just leave. Go back to your car and drive away.
I freeze when I hear something rustling someplace far too close. Oh shit.
What if someone has seen me? Could it be whoever those guys were? Is it someone who is even worse? What is going to happen to me?
There’s no way I’ll be able to outrun someone. I can’t remember the last time I did any cardio. Maybe I should think about going on a jog every now and again.
Itcouldn’t hurt. Right?
But making promises to get in better shape and become a better runner isn’t going to help me right now. No, if I have to make a run for it, I’m probably going to get a cramp which takes me to the ground and makes me a sitting duck.
Fuck.
This was a stupid idea.
The rustling stops and I blow out a relieved breath, even though relief is the last thing I should be feeling right now. Because I’m still in the area around the mill like I’m some fucking private investigator and not a county clerk.
“You’re an idiot,” I hiss the words at myself like saying them out loud is going to make any of this better.
Not surprisingly, calling myself an idiot out loud does nothing to help my current situation.
I’m still crouching down in the loose woods around the mill. The chilly night air is still starting to creep into my bones in a way which has my jaw clenching to stop me from giving into the need to shiver. My plan is still crumbling around me as I debate with myself about creeping closer to my destination or giving up on this ridiculousness all together.
I know which choice I should go with, but I also have a stubborn streak in me I don’t get to bring out to play very often. Even though I hated it, I learned a long time ago that being stubborn wasn’t the way I was going to get through my childhood. It certainly wasn’t going to help me against my father.
So, I pushed that part of myself down and became agreeable when it mattered and strong when it counted. Still, that stubbornness has come out to play a few times throughout the years, especially when it came to Jessi being able to follow her heart, dreams, and ambition. I wasn’t going to let our dad stifle her. There were more than a few times when I had to show Dad just how stubborn I could be.
But it wasfor Jessi which is how I justified it to myself. Hell, for all I know Dad justified my defiance in the same way.
He should have known I was going to back up my sister. He expected the fucking world from me and took my ability to soar as a personal victory all his own. With Jessi? He wanted to put her in a box, one which was always going to be too small to contain her. Not only did he wrap his expectations around her, but then he always compared the two of us.
