I was already fighting nerves. And now because of that I have to fight off butterflies as well.
“It’s all you, Gabrielle. Wow’em.”
I slowly pull away, letting those encouraging words take hold of me. His eyes are so focused on me. On the moment. If once in our marriage Justin had said anything like that to me, I don’t know if I’d be in Vegas on my divorce trip. Yet, here’s a man I just met, encouraging me with his actions, his words, his presence. It’s something I’ve never had. And it’s the reason the last bit of nerves leaves my body as I step up to the front of the stage.
I can hear that I’m hesitant at first. I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve sung this song, let alone in front of a crowd. Seven years to be exact. Sure, it’s only a few hundred people, but that’sa lot of eyes on you, especially after I’ve spent most of the night sharing the spotlight with my famous duet partner. When I hear a crack in my voice, I nearly stop. But like he knows I need an anchor, I see Maddox out of the corner of my eyes, who’s looking straight at me. His gaze isn’t wavering. His sole focus is on me. His soft smile hits me in the heart. His slight nod encourages me to go on.
So I do. I sing.
For all the years I didn’t.
For the fact that I’m able to tonight.
I sing with every fucking breath I have.
And it’s at the perfect time. I hit my stride as the chorus hits, and for the first time in seven years, I fucking belt out my favorite song.
It feels good. So fucking good. At some point in the song, my eyes are closed, and I’m becoming one with the lyrics. For all I know, no one else is in this bar. It’s me and the microphone. And of course, Maddox. Because I wouldn’t be up here without him.
I feel his presence coming closer to me before I open my eyes. He had to have seen the movie this song is from, because how else would he know the exact right time to come next to me, and will me to sing the riff of a lifetime?
Our eyes lock, and the encouragement I feel from his gaze is almost overwhelming. This shouldn’t be the song I sing without practicing, let alone not singing for years. But somehow I’m doing it. And when I hit the final note of the run before dropping back into the chorus, I almost collapse from the energy leaving my body. But I don’t, because like he’s been all night, Maddox is next to me, physically holding me up as his hand takes mine, emotionally supporting me by being next to me, singing the last part of the song with me as our eyes never leave each other’s.
If I tried to catch a glimpse of the audience right now, I’m pretty sure it would be nothing but a blur. How can I see anyonebesides the man standing in front of me right now? Between the pull he has on me, the way my body has heated every time we’ve touched, and the gift he gave to me, for all I know, there’s no one else here besides us.
As the final note trails off, everything starts coming back into focus as the roar of applause hits from the audience. My breathing is heavy and I have to remind myself that I just did that. That I sang that song. That the sound I’m now hearing is the applause for me.
I wasn’t making a racket like Justin said. My singing wasn’t screaming. It wasn’t something to roll your eyes at.
I did that.
I took my voice back.
I took myself back.
The realization hits me like a freight train. The weight of everything crashes down on me, and if I don’t get off the stage quickly, I’m going to pass out.
“You’re not loud enough! Give it up for Gabi!”
Those are the last words I hear Maddox say as I try to give a wave before I disappear out of view. I can feel the tears already starting to hit my cheeks, but I don’t want to cry here. I’m doing my best to keep them at bay, and I only have to make my way through one small group of people before I have a straight shot to the bathroom, where hopefully Shelby and Hannah will be waiting for me when they realize what’s happened.
Except I don’t. Because the second my feet hit the ground, the bubble I was in pops, and with that, I fall to the ground.
“Gabi!” I hear Maddox yell as my body loses all of its bone form as I melt to the ground. “What happened? Are you okay?”
I nod as I do a shitty job of trying to push aside the tears that are coming out in a tidal wave. I’m also pretty sure that my dress is riding up so high half of my ass is hanging out. “I’m fine, it’s just… ”
I don’t have the words. I could. I do. But saying them right now? To Maddox, of all people? I just met the man. He doesn’t need to hear my emotional damage on top of everything else I feel like I’ve dumped on him tonight. Plus, it’s too embarrassing. Too shameful. Too… real. And I feel raw enough right now as it is.
“You don’t have to say anything else.” He comes down on the floor with me—the floor that thankfully I’m too drunk to think about touching—and wraps me in his arms. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I’m stiff for more than a few seconds, but it doesn’t take long for me to sink into his touch. To let the strength of his hold protect me to let these tears out. To have a minute to gather myself where he won’t let anyone near me.
“There we go,” He whispers as he gently rubs my back. “No rush. Take as long as you need. We have no where we need to be.”
I laugh through the tears. “Thanks for lying.”
“Who said I was lying?”
