I close my eyes. “Now is not the time,” I tell him.
“When is?” I hear him step closer to me.
It’s quiet, and I don’t know what to say. All I want to do is crash through the door and get outside to where Soren left. Instead, I stay standing here like an idiot.
“I tried to save him,” Cassian admits. “If it would have been up to me, I’d have never been in that room with him.” His voice falters on the last words. “I never wanted to be.”
Something feels familiar in his tone of voice, but I don’t think about it. I let it pass me as just a fleeting emotion. Guilt. Pain. It’s so similar to mine, but I can’t focus on it. I can only focus on Soren.
I turn to look at Cassian slowly. “I know it wasn’t your fault,” I tell him, and feel a weight lift off my chest, and see his eyes glittering. “But you have to learn, Cassian, sometimes it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. Some things fall on the shoulders of those who are the least prepared. I don’t—I don’t care that you failed to save our father, Cassian, but what are you going to do about it?”
Cassian stares back at me, and the tears grow heavier in his eyes. My own stomach aches and eyes sting.
“You failed too,” he tells me. “We all did, not just me.”
I take a slow breath and close my eyes. “Father was a bastard,” I tell him. “He was… He wasn’t a good man, Cassian, but it’s complicated. He failed and we all failed, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” Cassian asks. “What are we supposed to do about it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.” I open my eyes and turn toward the door. “Right now, I need to make sure Soren isn’t getting himself killed.”
It’s quiet as I open the door and feel the cold air rush in to greet my face.
“Hey Car,” Cassian says softly from behind me.
I sigh. “Yeah Cas?”
“Do you love him?” he asks me.
I blink. I’m not sure how he even got the idea to ask just from listening through the door. Something tells me he knows more than I realize. That he’s been far more of a fly on the wall than I’ve noticed. I’ve spent so much time trying to ignore him after all… Maybe I literally didn’t notice him at times.
I lick my lips. His question hangs in the air and makes my chest tight and uncomfortable.
“I think so,” I reply.
Then I step out and let the door close behind me.
The cold penetrates down into my skin and muscle as I rush down the driveway. I still see Soren’s car in the distance.
Immediately a red alarm goes off in my head. His car shouldn’t still be here.
I’m not wearing a coat, hat, or gloves, and every second I’m outside my skin gets redder, but I don’t care. All I care about is getting to Soren’s car and finding out if he’s okay. Maybe he’s just sitting in there, having been waiting for me to come to him. Perhaps he knew that I would.
Every part of me is alive with anxiety as I stop short of his car because there’s something on the ground.
Soren’s phone.
Or one of them at least. It doesn’t look like a burner phone, it’s too expensive for that. I pick it up off the ground and find that it still works.
“Son of a bitch,” I growl as I swipe at the screen trying to unlock it somehow. Then, I notice the emergency option. I click it just in case.
“Yes!” Soren has several numbers set as emergency, so I can choose one. One of Rosalie. His sister.
I press the button and put the phone to my ear as I’m making my way back up the driveway toward the garage so I can get my own car.
“Soren?!” Rosalie picks up within the first two rings and her voice is racked with concern. “Where are you? You need t?—”
“This is Carmine,” I tell her. “Soren’s phone was lying on the ground. His car is still here, I believe he’s in danger.”
