I don’t reply. Instead, I simply look over my shoulder toward my uncle.
“The blood is on your hands, regardless of who does it.”
I leave without another word. Just stinging in my eyes.
I know Carmine is still in Greece. So, I’ve got two options. Wait for him to come home or take the two-hour flight back to Greece. Then what?
I know what Eivor expects of me, and I know what I need to do. I need to kill Carmine. I have a sinking feeling in my gut that drowns me more and more as I drive to the Dresvanni estate.
I have to kill Carmine.
I’m pretty sure he’s a dead man either way. Whether I’m the one who kills him or not. The difference being that if I don’t killhim, I’ll also be a dead man. Do I care? Do I care so much about loyalty to my family that I’m going to kill the man I’ve promised to protect?
I can’t think and I don’t want to. I want to stop. I just want everything to stop.
I park outside of the Dresvanni estate and take a deep breath. It’s not unexpected or out of the ordinary that I’m here now. I’m not sneaking around. I don’t bother parking where the guards can’t see me; they’ve gotten used to seeing my face in and out of the estate. Unless Carmine has told them about my betrayal, I don’t think I need to worry about them manhandling me.
Still, I don’t go inside.
Going inside means I need to make up my mind. I’m not ready for that yet.
It eats away at me as I sit in the car getting colder and colder as the minutes, then hours, pass.
I sense that I’ve gotten a text, but I can’t bring myself to look at it right away.
Instead, I close my eyes and imagine that none of this is happening. That my uncle didn’t order me to take care of Carmine. That he doesn’t want to take over his entire family.
I groan. What am I doing?
I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be one of the best. Yet, I’m here debating something that shouldn’t even be a debate. I don’t agree with my uncle’s plan, but that has never mattered in the past.
The blood on my hands stains down to my marrow. Nothing will ever change that.
What’s a little more?
I huff. “God-fucking-dammit,” I slam my fists against the steering wheel. “This shouldn’t be so fucking hard.”
As I’m putting my hands on my head, a familiar car pulls up to the gate, goes inside, and I watch as it stops at the carport.Carmine steps out, looks toward the gate, and I swear his eyes meet mine through the tinted windows. As though he can actually see me. I know he can’t, but the expression of concern wrinkling his features makes my fingers twitch and I want to get out and go over to him immediately.
I don’t.
I grab my phone and finally look at the text. It’s from him.
What happened? My meeting is over. I’m coming back now.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I hover over the screen with my thumb but then turn the screen off. I lift my hips so that I can shove the device back into my pocket and then I stare at the front door to the Dresvanni estate again.
How long can I avoid this?
I shake my head. “Be a man,” I grumble. “Just…do what you’re told, get it over with. They’re your family.”
A rush of adrenalin comes over me. I make sure my gun is in its holster, a dagger hidden in my boot as always, then I head to the gate.
I’m let in with no problem. So, he must not have told anyone about me. I take a deep breath, watching it form a cloud in front of my face, and make my way up the stairs to the door.
My pulse is racing. My palms itch. I can’t keep myself from glancing around me before trying the door and finding it unlocked.
The second I push the door open and step inside, Carmine is there. Standing in the foyer, his face flushed from the cold, his hair windswept, and brow furrowed.
