“What do you think just happened?” Tiberi asks, waving a hand. “You are in our father’s place now, Carmine. You are responsible for carrying us on your back and leading us into the future. Now, you’re not alone. We’re not heavy burdens to carry…but someday, Cassian is going to be the one in charge. You’re not going to have a future to lead if you keep kicking him while he’s down.”
My throat is tight, eyes wet, and I can barely see him now. I tighten my jaw as I try to keep it together.
“I don’t know what to do,” I reply simply.
“I don’t believe that.” He takes a step back. “When you do know, we’ll be here.”
Tiberi walks out of the room without a backward glance.
All alone in the library with nothing but my thoughts to keep my company.
I half expect Alessio to come storming in when he gets home and punch me square in the face. Maybe I could use it.
Even fifteen minutes later, no one comes in. Not to get me for dinner, not to tell me to go fuck myself, nothing.
I slowly move down to the floor, the glass a couple feet away. I sit on the floor, the seat behind my back, and my bleeding foot curled in front of me. I slowly pick at the glass shards, trying to get them out of my foot.
One by one.
Each tiny sliver coated in my red blood.
I toss them into the pile. Someone will clean it up.
Someone always does.
Except me. Right?
I’m left here all alone, no one picking me up off the ground and cleaning me up.
Soren.
Soren did that.
At the office. A pool of Jackson’s blood all round, and he had helped me up off the floor, taken me home, and cleaned me up. It wasn’t the first time either.
I stare at a fragment of glass on my palm as I think about the night I’d gotten so trashed that I had my dick out in public, doing who knew what with it.
It wasn’t that part that I think about though, no, it’s remembering flashes of Soren’s face, and being in a car. Then waking up in my bed.
Twice now, he’d been there for me when no one else was. When even I wasn’t there for me.
Still, I refuse to call him. Refuse to let him dictate my life, what I do, why I do it.
I can’t let him. I can’t. I’ve already let him and his family too far into mine. They’re
strangers.
Strangers that shouldn’t be making me feel so frustrated.
No, that was just Soren.
Any arousal I previously felt toward him is not totally gone, I realize. Despite everything, my dick still twitches softly at the thought of him.
Guilt rises up from my stomach and I swallow it down along with the bile.
How can I feel this way about him? How can I imagine those things?
Punishment…
