My eyes widen a bit. “I don’t care what Eivor—” he cuts me off.
“This isn’t about him,” he insists. “I’m talking ever. If there’s ever a situation where I’m absolutely going to die, I want you to kill me instead. Don’t let someone else get the satisfaction.”
My eyes narrow and I search his face. There isn’t even a bit of hesitation there.
In my chest, my heart squeezes, and I swallow the lump that forms in my throat.
I lean down closer to him, and place my other hand on his shoulder. I squeeze tightly.
“I understand. I want you to kill me too. No one else should get to say they did. Only you.” I ignore the burning and aching in my body, and lean my forehead against his.
“So much has happened the last few months,” Carmine comments, his nose brushing against my own. “You have been there the whole time. I didn’t know why…maybe because I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want you to go away, even if you were betraying me—which youwere.”
I just look back at him with eyes full of guilt and desire.
“When people find out it is going to be a fucking mess, Soren,” he warns me.
“I know,” I say slowly. I lift his chin with my fingers and brush my lips against his. “Fuck what anyone else thinks.”
I feel Carmine slowly wrap his arms around my neck over my shoulders and pull himself closer to me. “I’m in love with you, Ren.”
Everything is hot, and I’m melting into him. I feel his breath against my lips and it’s so difficult not to just kiss him.
“I love you too, Carm.” The words sound foreign coming from me, but they feel perfect at the same time.
The man I had once wanted to kill to stay loyal to my family is now kissing me. The man whose blood I had wanted to spill. Whose neck I wanted in my hands.
I can’t lie. I still want his neck in my hands. Feel him writhe and squirm beneath me…but I want him alive.
I don’t want to end his life, because I’m fairly certainly it would mean the end of mine too.
No. I want to feel every inch of him against me. I want to kiss him into oblivion. Not kill him. Not bring him anguish. Only a delightful kind of pain, a twisted pleasure within the darkness.
“Soren,” Carmine moans against my mouth, and I realize I’ve been caught up in my own thoughts. Not kissing him back.
I press my mouth to his firmly, kissing him slow and deep. For right now, in this moment moment, he’s taking control, not me, and I’m okay with this.
My cock is already semi-hard under the towel, but it’s only a second later that I feel Carmine slide one of his hands up my thigh over the towel and start to grope me.
My own hands find his hips and I pull him up until he’s in my lap rather than on the floor.
“Bedroom?” he asks, against my mouth.
“Not yet,” I reply muffled into the kiss.
The room grows darker as I kiss Carmine and he kisses me. Our kiss melts into one, and I’m unable to tell my lips apart from his as my head gets fuzzier with the endorphins of lust and affection.
This is all we do for a very long moment, and it’s a strange thing for me. Kissing without much else.
His mouth tastes of blood, salt, and faintly toothpaste, but no alcohol. Knowing this makes me proud of him, and I grip Carmine’s hips tighter to push his groin against mine.
Carmine groans and swirls his tongue around mine. I mirror him by pushing my tongue against his until it’s on top and then gliding it around. Pleasure tingles up my spine from my groin as he grinds against me. His own length hard inside of his jeans.
Every movement is soft compared to our interactions in the past. Passionate but slow and tinted with the warmth of genuine love. It’s not something I’m used to, and I quickly find it intoxicating.
Usually, I would want to hurry it up, fuck the roughest way possible, get it over with, feel good, make him feel good and not think about anything else.
Right now, I’m enjoying running my hands along his waistline. Listening to him moan, muffled and needy into thekiss. Every so often he parts the kiss to suck in a breath, but continues just as soon.
