Smiling, Irish hated how observant this man was. She couldn’t get anything past him, not even a crying spell. The ups and downs of grief had been exhausting. Each time Irish attempted to have a good day, a memory or a scent placed her back in the dark hole she’d taken so much time to crawl out of. Noble released her and walked into the kitchen. Opening the microwave, he smiled as he pulled his plate out.
“I ain't wanna ask if you were cooking but damn, I’m glad to see a plate.”
She smirked at him as he took the foil off. Ivory had been begging for a homecooked meal, so Irish whipped up some shrimp and grits along with fried catfish.
“I figured you would be hungry.” She leaned against the counter. “I tried to eat some but baby didn’t like it. I threw it up.”
Now at four months, Irish had started experiencing a little bit of sickness. It could’ve been the baby or it could’ve been her grief. She wasn’t sure.
“How you feel now?” Noble asked before drenching his fish in hot sauce.
“Okay.”
Irish watched him take a big bite before spooning the grits. Feeding her man had to be her love language. Whenever she was in the mood to cook, Noble devoured her food like she was a five-star chef. Her new favorite thing to do was watch him eat.
His dark gaze landed on her. “You’ve been crying. I can tell.”
“I have.”
“You thinking about him?”
She stalled for a moment… “I think now, I’m crying at the possibility of the person who killed him not being held responsible. The police have no leads and I don't know.” She rubbed her eyes. “I don't want whoever killed him to get away with it.”
“They won’t,” Noble assured, still chewing. “Shit takes time, Pumpkin. But I swear I’m going to find out who shot at you.”
Irish believed him but the patience it required had worn her thin.
“What else is on your mind?”
“Cali’s leaving this week, and I’m so sad about it. She’s been another rock for me at this time and I feel like I’m losing another person that I love.”
Noble smirked at her, his eyes were low and glazed over. “She’s only moving out of town. You act like she’s leaving forever.”
“Papa, let me be dramatic in peace, please,” Irish joked. “If I can’t pull up on her, then that means she’s leaving me.”
“I respect it.” He nodded. “I don't get it, completely, but I do respect your feelings about it.”
Cali had spent every day with Irish, making her grieving process a tad more bearable. Irish saw this day coming, she just opted not to think about it, but now the time had come. Cali was on her way to a fresh start. Irish was excited for her but also saddened that some distance would be placed between them.
“Then, there’s something else,” she revealed.
“What?”
Irish pushed out a weighty breath, not believing what she was going to say.
“I think my passion has died for my clothing company. Ivory has been basically running it for me, and I feel so bad that I haven’t put in any input. I don't even have the desire to design any collections. I’m thinking about shutting it down.”
Irish felt like a failure but couldn’t admit it out loud. How could her passion that once burned like a forest fire be gone without a trace? Once upon a time, designing had been her life. The feeling of new clothes generated inspiration that she could hardly contain. These days, Irish didn’t care about her company. She let Ivory run it without ever giving any contribution. It was a sad reality that she never thought would happen.
Noble pushed his now cleaned plate away. “Come here.”
Irish ambled over to him and sat sideways on his lap. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Noble blessed her with a sweet kiss on her neck.
“Listen, I want you to slow down and think about what you're going through. You're grieving, so your thoughts aren’t really clear right now. You got a lot of brain fog and being pregnant isn’t making it any better. When you come out of this, meaning when you accept Jovanis’ death, then I think your passion will come back. You going through some tough shit so, no, I don't think you should shut down your company. I actually think you should force yourself to design so you can take your mind off of everything.”
Irish’s days were nothing but a long episode of grief on replay. When Cali was around, she’d try to cheer her up by getting her out the house. When Noble was present, Irish presented herself as someone who was on their healing journey. Truth was, she hadn’t even arrived at the avenue to start mending her broken heart.
“I know you're tired of me being down. I swear, I’m trying to get my mind right but—”
