“Neither do I,” he hissed.
“I know but you’ll at least listen to me vent. I miss my brother. Can you please forgive me? You already beat his ass. Ain't that enough?
“Actually, no.”
I would like to kill that bitch-ass nigga…
“Well, you can be mad at Mama and Bernard but not me. So can you try to find it in your heart to forgive me? Please.”
“I’ll think about it.” He walked toward the back.
“Oh, and I heard you got married. Congrats, I can’t wait to meet her.” Kaliste beamed.
He nodded and knocked on the door. When he heard his mother’s voice, he ambled inside. Lyra sat behind her desk while her pink glasses rested on the tip of her nose.
“You busy?” he asked, taking a seat.
“Uh, no, just going over some paperwork.” Lyra moved a stack of papers toward the corner of the desk. There was some timidity in her eyes as she exhaled deeply.
Noble had avoided this talk for seventeen years. The moment he found out she had still been conversing with Bernard changed their relationship forever. He strived to push through his ill feelings for the sake of her being his mother but his pride wouldn’t let him.
“I wanted to holla at you… I know I’ve given you the cold shoulder for years but that was because I didn’t know how to express my disappointment without being angry. So, ignoring the obvious was the best option. I was hurt when you broke your promise to me… and when you married him once he got out of jail, I never looked at you the same. I still have ill feelings toward you, Mama. I’ve tried over the years to let them go but it’s hardwhen I think back to how you let me down…” He pinched his bottom lip.
Lyra swallowed hard, scraping her teeth against her bottom lip. “I know I let you down, Noble. I’m sure you view me as being weak with no backbone. Back then, I should have exercised more judgement on Bernard because what he did was despicable. At that time, I assumed he was being punished by doing three years in jail. So, I figured I didn’t need to dogpile on him. I’ve been living with guilt for so many years I don't know how to get rid of it…” A tear dropped from her eye, prompting her to grab a Kleenex. “I’ve tried to get you to see Bernard from my perspective but I was wrong. I should have respected your wishes. I apologize for how I handled the situation. If I could go back, I would probably choose not to deal with Bernard if I’d known that I would lose my son.”
Noble appreciated her words but they were a little late. He would have loved for her to show that he mattered back when he was sixteen versus thirty-three.
“Listen, Mama, I um…” He sighed, trying to find the proper words to convey what was on his heart. “I don't think we can have that normal relationship that mothers and sons have. I lost respect for you, and I’m not saying that I can’t find it anymore, but it’ll take a while. I love you, though. I’ll always love you because you brought me into this world but I do want you to respect my boundaries.”
“And what are those?”
“I don't like your husband and I never will. He did something as a man that I can’t respect. Stop pushing him on me. Stop trying to mold this family unit with him because it’s not going to happen. I don't care how sorry he is, I just don't fuck with him.”
Lyra’s chest heaved before bobbing her head. “I understand.”
“I have a baby on the way and I got married to a woman that I love more than anything. I want you to meet her. She wants to have Thanksgiving at the house, and I’m inviting you.”
“Wow!” She gawked. “Married? I didn’t think you would do that again after Daysha.”
“Me either but I couldn’t pass up on her. She’s very special to me and I never wanna be without her.”
Lyra smiled. “I’m happy for you. Congratulations.”
Noble reclined in his seat. “Thanks.”
“So, I’m assuming just me is invited, right?”
Bobbing his head, he confirmed, “Yeah, Mama, just you. I understand if you want to be united with your husband, so you can decline the invitation. I’m not gon’ be hurt about it but he’s not invited to my house with my family.”
“No, no, I think Bernard got the picture last time you two were in the room with each other. He’ll probably be happy to sit this out.” Her gaze drifted to the stack of papers on the desk. “I’ve been shunned from so many moments in your life and I can’t afford to miss anymore. I’ll take whatever you give me at this point.”
Noble sensed the regret in her voice. Lyra had been fighting between choosing her husband and choosing her son. Although she made her stance clear, there was remorse in her decision.
Noble stood, ready to end the conversation. “I’ll text you the details for Thanksgiving.”
“Okay and Noble, I love you.”
Silence invaded him while contemplating if he should say it back. He hadn’t uttered those words to Lyra in years. He never felt it to be genuine because of the disappointment she’d caused. Still, she was his mother and it was time for him to slightly adjust his boundaries.
