“That’s none of your business. I don't owe you shit!” she hissed. “I ain't never met a man that divorced someone and can’t leave them alone. The fuck!”
She stomped up the stairs and unlocked her front door. She went to slam it on Rio, but he blocked the door and barged inside.
“Why you trying to lock me out?” He chuckled.
“‘Cause I don't want you here. I thought I made it clear during our last conversation that we should part ways? Besides, go check on your new baby mama. I’m sure she could use some crackers or ginger ale.”
Rio sucked his teeth while expelling a heavy breath. “Her ass not even pregnant. She posted her cousin’s sonogram being messy and you fell for it. I told you I didn’t get her pregnant.”
Cali didn’t know how to feel about Rozalin’s thirst trap. On one hand, she was relieved but on the other hand, she didn’t know why. This man wasn’t hers yet she was glad that he wasn’t creating life with her ex-hairstylist. It could’ve been her ego or the part of her heart that Rio still owned. Cali wasn’t certain.
“I didn’t fall for anything. You’ve been fucking her and she posts a sonogram picture. Anyone would think she was pregnant by you. So don't act like I’m green and gullible.”
Rio leaned against her island and cupped his hands in front of his pelvis. His contemplative expression caused Cali to wonder what he was thinking.
“Can we talk on some real shit?”
Cali’s eyes rolled while mulling over his request. The talks with Rio had been heavy. They were filled with pain, regret, and burdens that she wasn’t strong enough to carry. They’d talked about everything so far and she didn’t think they had more topics to discuss. In spite of Cali’s hesitancy, she gestured with her head to go to the living room.
They sat next to each other as the light from the kitchen dimly illuminated the living area. Rio rubbed his hands together and licked his lips.
“I’ve been fucked up,” he began. “…Even before the divorce I was fucked up because I didn’t know how I was going to live without you. The anger I had gave me this false sense of belief that I could make it without you…” He hesitated as his gaze drifted to the abstract rug. “I tried everything to get rid of this feeling of needing you, Cali, but this shit ain't went away. I done fucked other girls, even went out of my way to hurt you but the love is still there… this shit just sitting here waiting to be fulfilled.” He turned to her. “I love you, like even more than before we divorced. I don't know how it’s possible when you stepped out on the marriage. I almost died behind your shit and I still can’t get you out of my head. I feel crazy as fuck for still wanting you, but then I remember that I’m not innocent, and that I hurt you, too. Tell me I’m not by myself in this shit.”
Awestruck, Cali blinked, wondering if this was a dream but she had yet to awake. She peered at Rio until her eyes became foggy. Emotions had stormed in, clouding her judgement. Months ago, she would’ve loved to hear these words. They were endearing and filled with so much authenticity butthings were different. Cali had graduated from the state of depression. She’d finally had her footing and was headed toward the direction of healing. She no longer possessed the amount of guilt she should've had. Of course, she still felt bad for what Rio had endured but she wouldn’t allow him to tear her down again. God had forgiven her for her actions and that was what mattered most.
“Cali, tell me,” he ordered with a subtle plea in his tone.
“Rio.” She exhaled. “It won’t be the same. You will never fully forgive me for what I did and I don't want to be begging for your forgiveness for the rest of my life.”
Rio grabbed her hands and held them. Cali didn’t realize how sweaty her palms were until she felt his dry ones.
“I’m willing to move on from that. Shit, I have to. You think I like thinking about what happened to me? I’m ready to get past everything.”
“But it won’t be like it was,” she stressed again. “We did too much to each other. The love won’t be the same.”
“It don't need to be the same. Let’s start fresh. We can create new memories with each other. We don't have to pick up where we left off. Let’s move forward doing new shit.”
That sounded so good to Cali but what about when mad day arose? What would happen if Rio got triggered and decided to spew his hate again? Cali’s heart wasn’t in the condition to take his wrath. She was still repairing it from the damage done when she was back in St. Parklynn.
“What you thinking? Talk to me.”
Cali rubbed her lips together and stared into his eyes. “I love you, Rio. Always will but… you're going to punish me for what I did. I know you. You hold grudges. You won’t look at methe same. I’ll be begging for your love, and I don't want that for my life.”
An expression of disappointment flashed across his face before he grabbed his phone. Rio tapped and scrolled while Cali remained quiet.
“A’ight, let’s settle this the way we used to.”
A smirk formed on her lips. “Don't say pool.”
“Why not?” He grinned. “Whenever we couldn’t agree on something, we would go play pool and fight it out. You on that with me?”
She tipped her head back, sighing dramatically. “Really, Rio?” She looked at him. “That was for when we couldn’t decide on which house to buy or what shift you wanted me to work. Not us getting back together. This is way more complicated, and I don't think a game of pool would settle this.”
“Listen, you’ve whooped me in pool just as much as I've beaten you. It can go either way. If I win, you gotta give us a chance. If you win, I’ll leave and you’ll never hear from me again.”
The sound of the latter made her stomach hollow. Could she deal with Rio being out of her life for good? Cali thought she could but as her imagination created that scenario, it saddened her.
“Come on.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the couch. “Let’s go.”
