Chapter Thirty-Three
Charlotte breathed deeply as she left the house. The open air provided freedom, and the tight feeling pressing against her chest was alleviated. Her cheeks ached from smiling, and her heart swelled with emotion.
It had been a busy day indeed.
And everywhere she looked, there was Nathaniel. He tormented her. She had tried her hardest to keep her distance, but the strings of fate kept pulling them together. She still felt a shadow of warmth on her hand where their fingers had brushed against each other.
During the celebration, she had glued herself to Lydia and Clara, hoping that they would serve as a good distraction. However, Charlotte found her gaze always returning to the Iron Duke, the man who had claimed a part of her.
She feared that it would always remain here with him.
But she could not.
She stared at the sky. The afternoon light had faded into a gentle dusk, and faint stars twinkled overhead. She closed her eyes and breathed in the aroma of the gardens.
Soon… soon you will be away from here,she thought.
The northern estate awaited her with the promise of solitude and study, where she could throw herself into her research and would not have to spend another moment thinking about Nathaniel.
She moved into a small glade, secluded from the rest of the estate. The plants offered a shield. She took a rubbery leaf in her fingers, feeling the smooth texture, feeling it bend under her touch. Then, she touched a tree trunk. The bark was rough to the touch, but it helped to ground her.
She closed her eyes and adopted a meditative state, although it did not last for long.
“Lady Charlotte… Charlotte.”
An emotional earthquake erupted within. Her eyes shot open. She looked over her shoulder. He stood in the glade with her, the two of them alone again, utterly separated from the rest of the world.
Charlotte took a moment to compose herself.
“Your Grace,” she said, hating the vibrato in her voice and hating the twisting knot in the pit of her stomach. She vowed that nothing untoward was going to happen.
He moved closer. She could hear the ground buckle under the weight of his feet. Then he stopped. She could not bring herself to turn yet.
“Have you tired enough of the party?”
“I wanted a breath of air. It has been a tiring day.”
“But a happy one.”
“Indeed, I have never seen Mary so overjoyed. Her heart is full, and I know she will have a good life with Lord Blackwood.”
“Yes, she will. Alfred is the same. I think he was looking for someone like Mary for a long time, and now, he has had the fortune of making her his wife. I have to admit I envy him somewhat.”
“For being married?”
“For being happy.”
A gentle smile appeared on her face.
“There are many paths to happiness, Your Grace. I’m sure that you will find one that feels natural to you.”
“Recently, I have begun to suspect that may not be true.”
“You don’t believe you will ever be happy?”
“I’m not sure that doing one’s duty and being happy go hand in hand anymore.”
“So you have accepted that duty is not enough.”
