The kind that made her feel, against all sense, that she was in possession of something precious.
Penelope folded the note into a smaller square than she had received it and tucked it into the lining of her jewellery case, beneath the pearls.
She had not decided anything. She was simply putting it somewhere safe while she thought.
She went down to brunch with her expression calm and her spine straight, and if her eyes moved once to where Cecil sat at the far end of the table, and if she found him already watching her when they did, she gave no sign of it whatsoever.
Because she was good at pretending everything was fine, even when it was not.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Imust have taken leave of my senses,” Penelope whispered under her breath as she walked down the hall.
She was headed to a different wing of the estate, fortunate to have visited her brother in his own room the day before. Lionel had pointed down the corridor, mentioning offhandedly that Cecil’s room was on the first door to the left of the next hallway.
And as she made her way to his room, she kept questioning her sanity, wondering how on earth this man had managed to invade her mind. Suddenly, she did not think his requests too outlandish or risky — at least not enough to refuse him.
The memories of the moments they shared together sat heavily within her, as though they bore great significance. The floorboards creaked and moaned beneath her feet, but otherwise, the air was still around her as she inevitably arrived at her destination.
Standing before his door, all the hesitation she might have felt earlier echoed through her body.
“It is not too late,” she mumbled, her gaze fixed on the doorknob. “You can put an end to this now and you will never have to speak of it again.”
It was obvious that the lines of their odd ‘friendship’ had blurred at some point, but Penelope was unsure of how to fix it – if that option was even available to her. She could not believe how swept up she had been in his charm, how he had managed to convince her to bare her body and soul to him as she had in the nights they had spent together.
But… beneath all the worry and concern, excitement still seeped into her veins. At the end of the day, she was too curious, her body yearned too much for what his touch held. She could not deny the obvious truth – she enjoyed these little trysts, those shared secret moments when it seemed the world fell apart and it was only the two of them left.
The implication of that felt too dangerous for her to ponder in that moment, so she did the next best thing.
With a deep inhale to cut off her racing thoughts, Penelope raised her hand and softly knocked against the door. Almost immediately, it fell open, and before her stood Cecil, his eyes dark as he stared down at her.
For a moment, neither of them moved, and then he stood back, allowing her to walk in. Once the door had closed behind her, she couldn’t help but blurt out,
“This is even more dangerous than meeting in the garden. What on earth were you thinking?”
Penelope expected him to tease and distract her, perhaps by pointing out that she had still come, despite the danger. But instead, he shrugged and pointed at the door as he sat down at the foot of his bed.
“There’s the door, Penelope. You can always return to your room and forget about my note. That option has always been available to you.”
His tone confused her greatly. Why was he irritated? Was he upset for some reason?
It was then she realized that she had not seen him all day, not since they had locked eyes in the morning, him on the balcony and her on the lawn in the backyard with Lord Lockwood. Cecil had been nowhere to be seen in the afternoon when guests gathered together for a game of charades, and she had not seen him at dinner either.
Had he not left his room since then? Penelope couldn’t help but wonder, her mind and heart muddled by the mix of confusion and concern within her.
“I did not mean…” Penelope trailed off, her fingers itching to cling to him, a notion she did not want to lend too much thought to. “I do not want to leave. I would not have come here if I did not wish to be here.”
Cecil regarded her for a moment and nodded curtly, reaching into the pocket of his dressing gown to retrieve what she realized moments later was a silk sash.
“Tonight, we will be pushing the boundaries of what you understand to be conventional forms of pleasure. A lot of people do not realize it… but the intensity of the pleasure grows when you have less control over it. When you give yourself over it, over to your partner and trust that they can take care of you just as you deserve, you will likely feel better than you ever had. And so, I want us to do something different. I want to tie your hands and during your time bound, you will need to trust me. Trust that I will take care of you and that you are safe.” He said, his voice heavier than it usually was.
Penelope’s eyes drifted to the soft-looking material dangling from his fingertips, the glow of the lit candles in the room making it look red in color. She swallowed and nodded, momentarily realizing that perhaps a verbal response would be more ideal.
“All right.”
The hesitation she was starting to feel as the moments ticked by must have been evident in her voice, because he rose to his feet and approached her leisurely.
“You can tell me to stop at any time you want me to. Do not feel as though you must indulge me in this. If you want this, then all you need to do is trust me.” Cecil said gently.
